IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages to study abroad?

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In
this
Linking Words
 concurrent world,
education
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 has become an integral part
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 personal and professional growth
to
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for
show examples
 individuals ,
espacially
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especially
to
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for
show examples
 youth
thus
Linking Words
 the trend of studying abroad
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is
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quite
papular
Correct your spelling
popular
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thesedays
Correct your spelling
nowadays
. High standard of
study
Use synonyms
 and
culture
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cultural
show examples
exploreser
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explorers
 are two benefits of
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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foriegn
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foreign
countries
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however
Linking Words
 racial hatred and
exorbidant
Correct your spelling
exorbitant
education
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other
Add a missing verb
are other
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 major concerns that cannot be denied.
Although
Linking Words
 every nation has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 standards or quality of
education
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 but developed
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countries
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countries'
country's
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education
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standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
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such
Linking Words
 as
US
Correct article usage
the US
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,
CANADA
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and CANADA
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 GERMAN are unmatchable
therefore
Linking Words
 graduates from these
countries
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 not only get
best
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the best
show examples
education
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also
Linking Words
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
top notch
Add a hyphen
top-notch
show examples
priority
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priorities
show examples
for jobs by multinational firms.
For example
Linking Words
, students who are living in Asian
countries
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 , especially INDIA
goes
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go
show examples
 to developed
countries
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 to
study
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 and when they migrate back to
own
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their own
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 nation got high validation from corporations as compared to others.
In addition
Linking Words
, studying in foreign
countries
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also
Linking Words
offers
Verb problem
allows one
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 to explore other cultures which
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
 to one see the world and people in it in a new way .
However
Linking Words
, there are some pitfalls that negate these arguments and which can certainly overwhelm the potential influence of
this
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 trend but one of the most alarming
one
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ones
show examples
 is that racial
harted
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hatred
. international students
some time
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sometimes
show examples
 get hated without any
reasons
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reason
show examples
 or may be
due to
Linking Words
 their own cultural
apperance
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appearance
 in foreign
countries
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 which may
distracted
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distract
show examples
 their focus
in
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on
show examples
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, learning in developed
countries
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 may
costly
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be costly
show examples
 as
realtives
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relatives
 to
under developed
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underdeveloped
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 ,
thus
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 might be not
afforadable
Correct your spelling
affordable
 to everyone .
For instance
Linking Words
 , in order to complete their
study
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 in foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 students get
loan
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loans
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 high
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
 which might put extra pressure on the mind
while
Linking Words
 studying which can
effect
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affect
show examples
 the productivity of
Add an article
the
show examples
brain. To culminate, I reiterate that there are plenty of strong factors supporting studying in foreign
countries
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such
Linking Words
 as high quality of
education
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 which later may lead to
grauntee
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grantee
 of job.
however
Linking Words
, cost of the
education
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 might increase which may not
suits
Correct subject-verb agreement
suit
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everyone.

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coherence and cohesion
Clarify your positioning in the introduction. While you mention both advantages and disadvantages, it may help to clearly indicate that you will discuss both sides. This will give readers a clearer roadmap of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the logical sequence of your ideas. For instance, ensure that your examples directly support the points made and that there are smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Look for ways to refine your language and correct spelling errors, as these detract from your professional and academic tone. Proofreading for typographical errors helps in improving clarity and coherence.
task achievement
In your conclusion, ensure that you summarize both sides succinctly before restating your overall viewpoint. This will help reinforce your arguments better.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. This balanced approach is commendable.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, particularly regarding the benefits of studying in developed countries, which strengthens your argument and adds context.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exposure
  • Global awareness
  • Renowned institutions
  • Specialized courses
  • Personal growth
  • Independence
  • Resilience
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Employment prospects
  • International experience
  • Language skills
  • Global network
  • Networking
  • Higher tuition fees
  • Living expenses
  • Travel costs
  • Culture shock
  • Homesickness
  • Academic performance
  • Visa regulations
  • Legal compliance
  • Language proficiency
  • Learning experience
  • Degree recognition
  • Employment challenges
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