IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways, while some think money should be spent improving public transportation, such as buses, trains, and subways. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

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A few people think that governments should do more funding on roads and railways,
while
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 others think that it should be spent improving public
transportation
Use synonyms
,
such
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 as buses, trains and subways. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and state my opinion. On the one hand, some believe that improving
highways
Use synonyms
 and roads
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 essential for
prevention
Add an article
the prevention
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 of
accidents
Use synonyms
 and
improving
Change preposition
for improving
show examples
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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 through
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
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 and exports. Nowadays, most of the
accidents
Use synonyms
 are happening
due to
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 poor and
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
 roads. So, constructing a good road can prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accidents
Use synonyms
 and
hassle free
Add a hyphen
hassle-free
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 travel for commuting.
In
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particular
Add a comma
particular,
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 connecting major cities through
highways
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 crucial for inter-state commercial purposes. Because most of the imports and exports with goods and materials are
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring
 through the
highways
Use synonyms
. So that, goods can reach on-time and it is beneficial for country's economic growth.
For example
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, NH26
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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connecting
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
delhi
Change the capitalization
Delhi
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 and
punjab
Change the capitalization
Punjab
show examples
 carries most of the grains and vegetables required for most
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
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 of North India.
On the other hand
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, some people think that most of the money should be spent on public
transportation
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, global warming and pollution levels are rapidly
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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due to
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increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in private
vehicles
Change the noun form
vehicle
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 usage. To prevent
this
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,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transportation
Use synonyms
such
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 as buses, trains and subways. By using public transport, carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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 can be reduced.
Additionally
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, traffic congestion and pollution can be prevented.
For instance
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,
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
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 Government is spending 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of
budget
Add an article
the budget
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 on public
transportation
Use synonyms
 and expecting
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climatic change in 2 years. In conclusion, even though
highways
Use synonyms
 are essential to
prevent
Wrong verb form
preventing
show examples
accidents
Use synonyms
 and better travel experience, investing in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transport is
the
Correct article usage
an
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 immediate need for people. Global warming is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major issue
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be
attended
Verb problem
addressed
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 immediately. So, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
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 spending on public
transportation
Use synonyms
 is the prime option.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing a stronger introduction that presents a clearer thesis statement outlining your main argument. This will help guide the reader through your essay more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that ideas are linked more clearly with cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition') to enhance the flow between points. This can improve the overall coherence of your essay.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, such as statistics or studies, which can enhance the strength of your arguments and make them more persuasive.
Task Achievement
You have clearly identified and discussed both points of view, providing a balanced argument.
Content
Your awareness of environmental issues related to transportation is commendable, showing a contemporary understanding of the topic.
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