IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Compared to the past, more people are now studying abroad because it is more convenient and cheaper than before. Do you think this is beneficial to the foreign student's home country? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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In
this
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 concurrent world, there are
huge
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a huge
the huge
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 number of individuals preferring to study overseas as compared with the previous time.
According to
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 their view, it is much more suitable and low cost than before and
as a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 it has vast advantages to the local country.
This
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 essay will
further
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 elaborate my reasons for the same in my upcoming paragraphs which will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
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, the first and
the
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apply
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foremost reason behind
this
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 is that better education in the overseas country is the main priority of every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
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.
Apart from
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this
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, if young personages earn some extra experience of education
as well as
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 work in
the
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apply
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other
region
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regions
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 of the world
than
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then
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 that will be helpful for better growth professionally.
For instance
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, the rise of 20% in
proposition
Add an article
the proposition
a proposition
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 of
the
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apply
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students who are going to other provinces recently. Another striking benefit is that their family get
better
Correct article usage
a better
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foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
 exchange rate of currency.
Consequently
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,
the
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they
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 better way of life live by their families and friends.
Moreover
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, many individuals get a chance to work in multinational
company
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companies
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 with higher income
package
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packages
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due to
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 overseas experience.
For example
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,
the
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apply
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most of the people who studied in various
region
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regions
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 of the world,
they
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apply
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got almost 50% higher salary
package
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packages
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 than local candidates. To culminate, there are various factors affecting to
develop
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development
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a
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of a
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career and it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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totally
depend
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depends
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 upon personal choice. People are not only getting financial stability but
also
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 mental
pieace
Correct your spelling
peace
piece
 as well.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the introduction by clearly stating your position and summarizing the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Provide clearer examples and data to support your main points, especially in the second body paragraph, for a stronger argument.
task achievement
Elaborate on how studying abroad benefits the home country. For instance, mention the potential for knowledge transfer and skill enhancement.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents a relevant position on studying abroad.
task achievement
The use of specific examples shows an attempt to support your points, which is a strong aspect of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • brain gain
  • valuable skills and knowledge
  • economic benefits
  • international trade
  • cultural ambassadors
  • foreign cultural perspectives
  • advanced research
  • innovation and development initiatives
  • diplomatic relationships
  • global mindset
What to do next:
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