IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of deaths caused by terrorist attacks in three countries between 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of deaths caused by terrorist attacks in three countries between 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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A glance at the line graph given illustrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of deaths
due to
Linking Words
 the attacks of terrorists in three regions from 2011 to 2015. These three regions were
Afghanistan
Use synonyms
,
Iraq
Use synonyms
, and Nigeria. Based on an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it can be seen that the highest number was
Use synonyms
Iraq
Change preposition
in Iraq
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 and its
peak
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 in 2014
by
Change preposition
at
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 around 9.000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the lowest was
Afghanistan
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 and its bottom in 2012 by around 2.100. From an initial figure, there of these countries started from the same level
by
Change preposition
of
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 3.000 in 2011.
Then
Linking Words
,
Iraq
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 dropped in 2012 by around 2.050 and grew significantly in the following years. Its
peak
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 in 2014 by 9.000. In the next year which was in 2015, it decreased to 7.000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it still attained the first
position
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 in 2015. Nigeria obtained the second
position
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 which started from 3.000 in 2011 and increased rapidly in the following years. It achieved
the
Change the word
its
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 highest
peak
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 in 2014
by
Change preposition
apply
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around 7.500.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it dropped in 2015 by around 4.900 and reached the
last
Linking Words
 place in that year.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
Afghanistan
Use synonyms
 was
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
Linking Words
position
Use synonyms
 compared to other countries in 2015 and it grew steadily in the following years.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, in 2015, it reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
peak
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
of
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 around 5.100 and obtained the second
position
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. It is interesting to see that Nigeria and
Iraq
Use synonyms
 achieved their
peak
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 in 2014,
while
Linking Words
Afghanistan
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 reached its
peak
Use synonyms
 in the following year which was 2015.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words afghanistan, iraq, peak, position with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 6 times.
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