Rich country often give financial support to poor countries but it does not solve the poverty , so rich countries should give other types of help rather than financial aid. Discuss to what extent you agree or not

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Unlike
last
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previous time period, when no
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
help
Wrong verb form
helped
show examples
each other. Now most of the rich countries provide
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
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with financial help.
However
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, it sometimes
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not cure the problem. So
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nation
Add an article
the nation
show examples
should help with other things. I will elaborate on it in
further
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paragraphs.
To begin
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with, it is a nice practice by a
country
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if the
nation
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provides
with
Change preposition
apply
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financial
support
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to needy ones.
This
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can
be proved
Wrong verb form
prove
show examples
very beneficial for both the kingdoms. Primarily, giving money can help the
country
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raise its economy or resolve its depth.
Similar
Correct article usage
A similar
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scenerio
Correct your spelling
scenario
was seen during World War when
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
helped Germany with capital
support
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and at that time that
Helps
Wrong verb form
Helped
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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Germany a lot.
In addition
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, providing money
support
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can enhance the relationship between the nations.
Thus
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, reducing the chances of conflict
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a good thing for not just 2
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country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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, but for the whole world, because if there is any war going on, it would impact the world in certain aspects. 
On the other hand
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, most often providing financial Sport Has not proved to be
very
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a very
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accurate option. It is observed that once a
nation
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receive
Change the verb form
receives
show examples
capital from another, it does not
spends
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spend
show examples
it wisely and after a certain time, the kingdom
return
Correct subject-verb agreement
returns
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to its previous financial state so
Use synonyms
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
should provide other things.
Firstly
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, providing medical
support
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would be better an option as
this
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can improve the
overall
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health of the natives.
Secondly
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, giving technological
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
and resources can
also
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contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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the status and GDP of a
nation
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because if a
nation
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is technologically advanced,
then
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there would be more job opportunities,
thus
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increasing the life standards.
Moreover
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, sometimes lending
man power
Correct your spelling
manpower
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can
also
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prove to be beneficial because some kingdom just needs protection.  In conclusion, I think offering other basic amenities rather
just
Correct word choice
than just
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capital can
benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
a
nation
Use synonyms
but sometimes just money can resolve the problem.

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task achievement
Try to ensure that your ideas are clearly developed and supported with specific examples. For example, when discussing financial aid, you could provide more details on why it often fails to resolve poverty. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use a more formal tone and appropriate vocabulary. Some phrases like 'providing financial Sport' should be corrected to 'providing financial support.'
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between your points. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition,' will help connect ideas more clearly and enhance readability.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view on financial aid, discussing both its potential benefits and shortcomings. This shows good critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction gives a clear outline of your essay and states your opinion, which is a positive start.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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