IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion....

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in the fourth
of
Change preposition
apply
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industrial revolution, Health is an important part of every person. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that workout is a key factor in building sound
healthy
Replace the word
health
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,
while
Linking Words
 others feel that having a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 is more
significantly
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significant
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.Two aforementioned views are discussed thoroughly in the following paraphrase before presenting in the conclusion. on the one hand, there are many reasons why some
people
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 believe that exercise is part of care. It is a way to burn excess fat and improve muscle.
Beside
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Besides
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 that, it can
also
Linking Words
 help relieve stress after tired working days and control calories.Most
people
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 go to
fitness
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the fitness
a fitness
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 center,in which a few
people
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 can self -
hit
Verb problem
apply
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but some
people
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 need guidance. If not have guidance for training, they can be injured during practice.
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
conversely
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conversely,
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i
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I
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 strongly believe that
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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diet
Use synonyms
 is more necessary. It is vital to the immune system, a proper
diet
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 that
maintain
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maintains
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nutrient
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nutrients
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 in the
body
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.
Then
Linking Words
, It
provide
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provides
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 essential nutrients for
physical
Add an article
the physical
a physical
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body
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 with the energy they need for daily activity.If they
not
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do not
did not
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 have a
balance
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balanced
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diet
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 for
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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, they can lack
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 or become fat. in summary, most
people
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 recommend exercise is good for
healthy
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health
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. it
help
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helps
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 improve
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body
Correct article usage
the body
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 and immune system. In my opinion,
i
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I
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 think fitness and
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
Replace the word
balanced
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balance
Correct your spelling
balanced
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diet
Use synonyms
 need have
connect
Change the verb form
connected
show examples
 together for
Correct article usage
a strongly
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strongly
Change the adverb
strong
show examples
body
Use synonyms

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task achievement
The introduction could be improved by clearly stating the writer's position on the topic. This helps guide the reader's understanding of your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences. This helps improve the structure and clarity of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the complexity of your ideas.
task achievement
The discussion reflects a good understanding of the topic and presents distinct views on exercise and diet.
coherence and cohesion
The essay provides a summary that reinforces the main points made in the body paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
What to do next:
Look at other essays: