IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The rise of convenice foods has helped people keep up with the speed of modern lifestyle. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In today's fast-paced world, fast
food
Use synonyms
 has become an integral part of modern living. These Prepared nourishments cater to a busy schedule, providing a quick solution for mealtime.
While
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 the rise of takeaway sustenance offers several benefits, it
also
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 has some disadvantages, which are explained in
further
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 paragraphs
along with
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 examples. Starting with good stuff, one big benefit is time-saving. To explain, ready-to-eat meals are helpful for those who have less time and a busy schedule. Another good thing is that Long Shelf Life. To make it clear, consider that many
convenience
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 refreshments are preserved through canning, freezing, or vacuum-sealing, which extends their shelf life and reduces
food
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 waste. Let's take an example to clear, the survey conducted by Japan showed a report that the extended shelf life of
convenience
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 foods has contributed to a significant reduction in household
food
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 waste, making them an efficient choice for busy families and working professionals.
On the other hand
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, some downsides make it a bit problem.
First,
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there's a lack of freshness. Ready-made meals are often packed to be preserved for a long time because the masses use
this
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food
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 for a long time.
Additionally
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, prepackaged cuisine is often high costly than fresh
food
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;
moreover
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,
this
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 kind of diet is high in sodium preservatives, unhealthy fats, and sugars, which can lead to
health
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 problems
such
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 as obesity, heart disease, and hypertension.
For instance
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,
according to
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 the World
Health
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 Organization finding
health
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 conditions arise in more than 40% before because of instant
food
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.
Lastly
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, relying heavily on
convenience
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 foods can lead to poor dietary habits and reduced interest in cooking nutritious meals. In conclusion, processed edibles have some pros, but the cons
also
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 include unhealthy lifestyles,
health
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 conditions, and waste,
also
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 cannot be neglected. Achieving a balance between
convenience
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 and nutrition is the key to benefiting from
this
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 trend without compromising well-being.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly aligns with the main argument and includes topic sentences that reinforce the connection between the ideas.
task achievement
Consider using more varied vocabulary and precise language to enhance clarity and sophistication in your writing.
task achievement
Make sure to thoroughly explain the implications of your points in relation to the advantages and disadvantages of convenience foods.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, particularly the survey conducted in Japan, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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