IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is argued that
characteristics
Correct article usage
the characteristics
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 born have been playing a significant role in a
personality
Use synonyms
. In the
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I
am totally disagree
Change the verb form
totally disagree
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 with
this
Linking Words
 statement. I believe the experience which happens in our life have
Correct article usage
an extremely
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extremely
Change the word
extreme
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effect
Use synonyms
 on
Use synonyms
personality
Correct pronoun usage
our personality
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the various experiences have a big
effect
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
development
Add an article
the development
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 of
people
Use synonyms
. To explain, the
people
Use synonyms
 could be passed
a different stages
Correct the article-noun agreement
a different stage
different stages
show examples
 in life which are facing
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 unforeseen situation.
Linking Words
This kind
Fix the agreement mistake
These kinds
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 of
sircumstances
Correct your spelling
circumstances
are
Change the verb form
is
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 a major reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
the change
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change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
Use synonyms
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, recently researchers
notice
Wrong verb form
have noticed
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 experiences have a strong impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
built
personality
Use synonyms
 which
form
Correct subject-verb agreement
forms
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 around 64 %.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the poor
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
Use synonyms
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
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lead to
Verb problem
apply
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depend on
their self
Correct pronoun usage
themself
themselves
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 more than
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
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 populations.
Thus
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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experience is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 first
effect
Use synonyms
 of
personality
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, characteristics born have a
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
 few impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the publics
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publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
show examples
. To clarify, the
baby
Change noun form
baby's
show examples
personality
Use synonyms
 changes every
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, babies start to learn
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
reaction
Fix the agreement mistake
reactions
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of
Change preposition
to
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people
Use synonyms
 who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 around them
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
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to
Change preposition
in
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 developing young personalities.
For instance
Linking Words
, the baby who lives with a big family
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 more
communication
Replace the word
communicative
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 with
people
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
and became
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became
Wrong verb form
becomes
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 more social and confident
than
Change preposition
with
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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other babies.
For instance
Linking Words
,
baby
Fix the agreement mistake
babies
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 start cray when
went
Verb problem
they are
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mother
Fix the agreement mistake
mothers
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,
every
Correct word choice
and every
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 day babies grow up and lack need mother.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
character
Add an article
a character
show examples
 born star to lack every day. In conclusion,
personality
Use synonyms
 and development
unfluens
Correct your spelling
influences
influence
 by
characteristic
Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
show examples
 born more than experienced, the experience
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
effect
Use synonyms
 in different
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
show examples
 of life. The parents should choose
Correct article usage
a mejor
show examples
mejor
Correct your spelling
major
 place for
kids
Correct pronoun usage
their kids
show examples
.

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Text Structure
Your introduction states a disagreement, but it could be clearer by directly stating that you believe experiences are more influential than characteristics. Additionally, consider revising 'the experience which happens in our life' to something like 'the experiences we encounter in our lives'.
Logical Flow
In your paragraphs, the logical flow of ideas can be improved. Make sure each sentence clearly relates to the main point of the paragraph. For sentences like 'To explain, the people could be passed a different stages in life', try making it clearer by saying 'People go through various stages in life that present unforeseen challenges.'
Language Use
Consider varying your vocabulary and sentence structures, as repetition of phrases or ideas can weaken your writing. For instance, the phrase 'have a big effect' appears multiple times; try using synonyms like 'significant impact' or 'profound influence'.
Example Connection
Make your examples more explicit and relevant by connecting them back to your main argument. For instance, when discussing how richer individuals may develop differently, be sure to articulate how that directly supports your argument against characteristics at birth being the primary influence on personality.
Argument Support
You provide a clear viewpoint on the topic, which is crucial for task achievement. It's great that you have included examples to support your claims.
Relevant Examples
Your use of examples related to family dynamics effectively illustrates your point about the impact of experiences on personality development.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nature vs. nurture debate
  • genetic inheritance
  • personality traits
  • behavior patterns
  • heritability
  • twins studies
  • malleable characteristics
  • upbringing
  • environmental influences
  • critical periods
  • language acquisition
  • worldview
  • innate traits
  • personal experiences
  • psychological development
  • epigenetics
  • adaptive behaviors
  • cultural imprinting
  • temperament
  • social conditioning
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