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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some experts believe that it is better for childeren to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondry school. do the advantages of this out weigh the dis advatages.

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Many experienced people believe that foreign
language
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 needs to be covered in the primary
school
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education
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 system
instead
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 of secondary
school
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education
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. In
this
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 essay, we will investigate
this
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 topic and the advantages and drawbacks of the
education
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 system for the foreign
language
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.
Firstly
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, foreign
Language
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education
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 in primary
school
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 will be a value add for the
students
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, from childhood the
students
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 will learn a foreign
language
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,
moreover
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 the
students
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 will try to speak in that
language
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 so their communication skills will be gradually increased. fortunately, once they get into secondary
school
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 it would be easy to communicate assessment exams and if they have any aspiration to study abroad for higher
studies
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 it would be greatly helpful,
for instance
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, if they want to study abroad they need to take IELTS, the mandatory
language
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 proficiency exam.
In addition
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, they need to score high so that the student would be eligible to commence their
studies
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.
Furthermore
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, if they know the foreign
language
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 it would be an additional skill in their profile for future heads up. On the other side, the
students
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 commence foreign
language
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studies
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 at a young age and focus only on that will reduce their interest in learning their own
language
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 and their history. In the recent survive in India, more than 50 per cent of the
students
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 don't know how to write a leave letter in their own
language
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. if
this
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 trend continues our own
language
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 will be at the bottom. In my view, foreign
language
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studies
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 in primary
school
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 are good but the
school
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 administration and the parents of the
students
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 focus and give the same amount of scope to their own
language
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 so that
students
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 and our country will be good level in terms of
studies
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.
In addition
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, the advantages of
this
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 initiative outweigh the
dis advantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
show examples
.

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task achievement
Consider refining your introduction to clearly state your stance on the topic and provide a brief overview of what the essay will cover.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have a clear beginning, middle, and end, and link your ideas with appropriate cohesive devices.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments, enhancing the clarity and depth of your ideas.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which adds depth to your essay.
task achievement
Your essay reflects your understanding of the topic, and you have made valid points regarding the benefits of learning a foreign language early on and its impact on communication skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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