There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?

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Being an employee in the same organization for many

years

Use synonyms

has its own potential benefits and employees are inspired

from

Change preposition

show examples

it. Few

thinks

Change the verb form

think

show examples

that the financial aspect is the important factor. I strongly believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

staying back in

one

Use synonyms

employer is

due to

Linking Words

trustworthiness and

nature

Correct article usage

the nature

show examples

job

Use synonyms

security. On the

one

Use synonyms

hand, prolonged employment increases the likelihood of more commitment towards

Use synonyms

job

Add an article

the job

a job

show examples

, team reliability,

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

understanding of managerial processes,

work life

Add a hyphen

work-life

show examples

balance and can predict the future.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

job

Use synonyms

will be more like a second home,

thus

Linking Words

leads

Wrong verb form

leading

show examples

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

convenient lifestyle, despite the usual stress and work pressure.

For example

Linking Words

, in my previous

company

Use synonyms

one

Use synonyms

of my

colleague

Change to a plural noun

colleagues

show examples

received

"lifetime

Correct article usage

a "lifetime

show examples

experience award" for his 40

years

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of service in the

company

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. His

advise

Replace the word

advice

show examples

the

Change the word

his

show examples

fellow

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

was fascinating, which sprinkled the thought of satisfaction and completeness.

On the other hand

Linking Words

job

Use synonyms

security is the main issue faced by many workers nowadays. Employed in the same

company

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for more

years

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not only

pave

Correct subject-verb agreement

paves

show examples

the path for

job

Use synonyms

security but

also

Linking Words

provides sustainability. Particularly, in the Information technology field, settled life is the

one

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which many people are looking for.

For instance

Linking Words

Finland based

Add a hyphen

Finland-based

show examples

company

Use synonyms

has the highest number of people who worked for more than 40

years

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in the same

company

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. Media telecasted an article regarding

this

Linking Words

, which says the workers had

great

Change the article

a great

show examples

time working with the

company

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. In conclusion, more

technologist

Fix the agreement mistake

technologists

show examples

and other professionals are trying to settle in a reputed

company

Use synonyms

rather than working for money. Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

financial needs are irrefutable, individuals are working hard to find their settled place in

an organizations

Correct the article-noun agreement

an organization

organizations

show examples

kr.kumbadevSat Feb 08 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction presents your viewpoint, which is good, but clarifying your stance on whether money is the main motivating factor compared to other reasons would strengthen your position.

coherence and cohesion

Consider improving the flow between sentences and between paragraphs. Some transitions could be smoother to enhance the overall coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Your examples are relevant, but try to provide more detailed explanations or personal reflections on how these examples illustrate your main points.

task achievement

In your conclusion, restate your main arguments more clearly to reinforce your message and leave a strong impression on the reader.

task achievement

You provided a relevant example regarding job security in the IT field, which supports your argument well.

task achievement

Your essay reflects a good understanding of the topic and includes several reasons why people might choose to stay with the same employer.

coherence and cohesion

The inclusion of personal anecdotes and examples enhances engagement and provides insight into your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

270 words

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There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Social media has become a real problem for some young people today, and governments should create laws that allow only people over 18 years of age to have accounts. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some say that advertisements of toys and snacks have a huge impact on children and their parents, and therefore advertising to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your own opinion.

In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?