Some people think that competition at work,at school and in daily life is agood thing.Others believe that we should try to cooperate more,rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many

people

Use synonyms

believe that

competition

Use synonyms

is a way of progression in their

life

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some

people

Use synonyms

think compromising with others is better than against. In my opinion, I believe that

people

Use synonyms

should set their goals and have some small competitions in their

life

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which

Verb problem

show examples

not conflict with others, that challenge will motivate their

life

Use synonyms

Competition

Use synonyms

in a

life

Use synonyms

is kind of mission for humans.

This

Linking Words

is a significant key to leading

people

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to improve their knowledge and skills.

For example

Linking Words

, the main condition for entering to university in Thailand is to take a test and the first priority group that gets the highest

one

Use synonyms

will be selected. Students who are interested in attending the university need to have competitive tests.

Therefore

Linking Words

, students need to study hard before doing the tests because they want

this

Linking Words

opportunity.

Besides

Linking Words

, many workplaces in Thailand, sometimes consider applicants from the name of the university that they graduated.

However

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

do not prefer any

competition

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in their

life

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. They would like to have a normal

life

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which does not make them feel stressed.

Such

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

one

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of my friends she staI rated to work at

one

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company approximately 5 years ago. I got a chance to ask her

while

Linking Words

we having dinner together about any plan to change her workplace. She told me that she does not want to have a new interview she needs to have a new interview and race with others. Another main reason that she does not want to leave

this

Linking Words

company is she feels used to

this

Linking Words

place eventually other companies will be able to give better benefits. In conclusion, the natures of humans are different some

people

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love to have

competition

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and some do not.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that in our

life

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will have some

competition

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that occurs at least

one

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time in a

life

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. In the future, I believe that

competition

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is still high because

people

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want to be the ones who get selected.

tharuedee_babeSat Feb 08 2025

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Task Achievement

Ensure that your thesis statement clearly states your main point and outlines the structure of your essay. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to transition smoothly between paragraphs and ideas. Using linking words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' can help give your essay a more cohesive flow.

Task Achievement

In your examples, ensure that they are detailed and fully developed to strengthen your arguments and make your points clearer to the reader.

Task Achievement

You present both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a good understanding of the prompt.

Task Achievement

Your personal insight, including the example of your friend, adds a unique perspective to the discussion.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

competition
cooperation
motivation
productivity
innovation
teamwork
anxiety
burnout
collaboration
social skills
excellence
grades
community
stress
individual success
overall performance

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