Some people think that older employees bring more value to a company. Others believe that younger employees are more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion. You must

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The success of an organization

are

Change the verb form

show examples

contributed by the people who

worked

Wrong verb form

work

show examples

together to achieve a common goal.

A diverse

Correct article usage

Diverse

show examples

skills, variety of

talent

Fix the agreement mistake

talents

show examples

logical

Correct word choice

and logical

show examples

and critical thinking of a member are

one

Correct determiner usage

some

show examples

of the important aspects to be considered. Some

propronent

Correct your spelling

proponents

proponent

believe that tenured

employees

Use synonyms

contributes

Change the verb form

contribute

show examples

more than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fresh graduate workers. In

this

Linking Words

esssay

Correct your spelling

essay

, I will discuss

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

views and provide my own point of view. To start with, older

employees

Use synonyms

have extensive experience and knowledge that can be invaluable for mentoring younger staff and guiding the

company

Use synonyms

through complex challenges.

Secondly

Linking Words

, they may have established networks and relationships that can benefit the

company

Use synonyms

in negotiations, partnerships, and client interactions. And

lastly

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

workers may have better job loyalty and a stronger work ethic built on years of experience, contributing to a stable workforce.

For example

Linking Words

in the

company

Use synonyms

that I am working

right

Change preposition

for right

show examples

now, the management

launches

Wrong verb form

launched

show examples

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

innovative project and invested

big

Add an article

a big

show examples

amount of money to buy various

machineries

Fix the agreement mistake

machinery

show examples

. It is expected to generate revenue in a short span of time.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they need experienced and tenured

employees

Use synonyms

to train newbies to meet the number of manpower expected to deliver results

Change preposition

within

show examples

a target timeframe

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

Younger

employees

Use synonyms

on the

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

hand, often bring fresh ideas, energy and a willingness to adapt to new technologies, which can help to drive innovation within a

company

Use synonyms

. They tend to be more in tune with contemporary trends, consumer

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and digital marketing strategies, which are essential for

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

to stay competitive in today's

face-paced

Correct your spelling

fast-paced

show examples

market. They are

also

Linking Words

generally more flexible and open to change, which can be an asset to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rapidly evolving industries, allowing companies to pivot and adapt as needed. Inclusion, both tenured and young competent individuals

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

essential in an organization. They have different yet important traits that

atttributes

Correct your spelling

contribute

Correct your spelling

show examples

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

success.

dylynpros77Sat Feb 08 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction lacks clarity and grammatical structure. Consider revising sentences for better flow and clarity. Ensure you clearly state your position at the end of the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use more varied linking words to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will help make your essay easier to follow.

task achievement

Make sure to elaborate more on specific examples provided, detailing their relevance and link to your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure proper grammar usage, specifically the plural form (e.g. 'a diverse skills' should be 'diverse skills') and article usage (e.g. 'the another hand' should be 'the other hand'). Slight grammatical improvements can enhance clarity.

task achievement

You have provided a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is essential for this type of essay.

task achievement

There are some relevant examples demonstrating real-world context, which strengthens your argument for older employees.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

experience
knowledge
mentorship
adaptability
innovation
established networks
contemporary trends
digital marketing
job loyalty
work ethic
flexibility
workforce stability
competitive advantage
professional growth
diversity of thought

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Some people think that older employees bring more value to a company. Others believe that younger employees are more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion. You must

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that the problem of illegal drugs can be solved by just legalizing all drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

In some countries, people's weight has significantlyincreased, while their levels of health have decreased. What do you think may be the causes of this problem,and what solutions can you suggest to solve them?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantges of this outweight the disadvantages?

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.