In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
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that the best way to get a good job is
having
Wrong verb form
to have
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a
university
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qualification.
Besides
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going to
university
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as
Change preposition
in others
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others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
countries, some
students
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prefer to live at
home
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with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
family
while
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they are studying.
This
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method has it is
adventages
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advantages
and
disadvatages
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disadvantages
.
Let
Add a missing verb
Let's
show examples
talk about the advantages first. There are three
reason
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reasons
show examples
why some
university
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students
Use synonyms
study at
home
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. The
bigest
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biggest
show examples
reason is easy to contact
with
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apply
show examples
family members,
Correct pronoun usage
which make
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
a cosy feeling for
students
Use synonyms
.
Besides
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that,
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
at
home
Use synonyms
also
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
don't worry about
the
Change the word
their
show examples
personal needs.
For example
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, eating, exercising and personal hygiene.
Moreover
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,
university
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students
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also
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have a
chnce
Correct your spelling
chance
to keep in touch with
fried
Correct your spelling
friends
show examples
and organise some
meeting
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meetings
show examples
as well as
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parties.
On the other hand
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,
besides
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advantages, there
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also
Add a missing verb
are also
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plenty of disadvantages for
university
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students
Use synonyms
studying at
home
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.
Firtsly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, When we live at
home
Use synonyms
with our family, they will do everything for us to focus on studying and that will lead us to be lazy and put on weight.
Secondly
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, some
students
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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are addicted to
Add an article
the game
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game
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games
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will play too much
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
influence
Wrong verb form
influencing
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
reasults
Correct your spelling
results
of their studies.
Finally
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,
while
Linking Words
studying at
home
Use synonyms
, we
also
Linking Words
can be annoyed
bu
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
our siblings;
in addition
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, our parents always want their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good health and
enrgy
Correct your spelling
energy
for studying, so they won't let their children
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
stay up late.
Overall
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, there are
also
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
advantages and disadvantages for
university
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students
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live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
at
home
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with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
while
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they study. The benefits of living away from
home
Use synonyms
during
university
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outweigh the disadvantages is
depends
Wrong verb form
depend
show examples
on every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
, they will have
diferent
Correct your spelling
different
vision
Fix the agreement mistake
visions
show examples
about
this
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issue. In my part of view,
students
Use synonyms
should attend
university
Use synonyms
as usual.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your paragraphs clearly with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
task achievement
Try to include more development of your ideas and supporting details to make your arguments stronger.
grammar and language
Be careful with spelling and grammar as inaccuracies can affect clarity; for instance, 'thier' should be 'their', 'bigest' should be 'biggest', 'fritsly' should be 'firstly', etc.
task achievement
You have made a clear attempt to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of living at home while studying.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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