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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The advances in technology are attributed to several environmental issues. While some people contemplate that environmental problems can be solved by adopting a plainer life, I believe that the solution lies in the adaptation of technology.

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The advances in
technology
Use synonyms
 are attributed to several environmental issues.
While
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 some people contemplate that environmental problems can be solved by adopting a plainer life, I believe that the solution lies in the adaptation of
technology
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, enjoying life with unsophisticated technologies means that humans inflict less damage to the ecosystem.
Firstly
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, the less the use of many devices and equipment, the less CO2
that is
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 released into the air. The consumption of private cars running
by
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on
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 fuel, air-conditioners and machines in the factories that serve humans can increase the emission of greenhouse gases.
Therefore
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, if humans can reduce
the
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apply
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energy consumption, a higher chance that problems
such
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 as global warming can be solved.
Secondly
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, farmers who do not use chemical fertilizers can help to ease
the
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apply
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soil and water pollution.
This
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 can lead to a decrease in
the
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erosion and boost the diversity of plants and wildlife.
On the other hand
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, I agree with those who argue that technological achievements play a pivotal role in solving environmental issues. One reason is that the use of renewable energy resources is starting to grow. It can be demonstrated by the invention of cars running by electric.
This
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 raises the prospect of decreasing dependence on fossil fuels and cleaner air. Another reason is that cleaner
technology
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,
such
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 as waste treatment, is being introduced into various industries. Technological development makes the recycling of plastics and other products
be
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possible. In conclusion,
although
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 living a simpler life can help tackle
the
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apply
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environmental problems, it seems to me that advances in
technology
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 have already solved many issues and they can do a lot more in the future.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to illustrate your points; for instance, mentioning specific renewable energy technologies or successful case studies in reducing emissions.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the logical connection between your ideas in each paragraph; you might consider using more linking phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
positive
Your ability to present a balanced argument between a simpler life and technology integration is commendable, showcasing critical thinking.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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