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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK from 2000 to 2008 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK from 2000 to 2008 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
migrated
Correct pronoun usage
who migrated
show examples
 to the UK from 2000 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the graph that the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 migrated for up to 2
years
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 migrated for 2 to 4
years
Use synonyms
. It is noticeable more fluctuations
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in up to 2
years
Use synonyms
 and 4 or more
years
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 had migrated for up to 2
years
Use synonyms
 it was around 150 in 2000, it stayed in 2008, it was by150.
The work
Correct article usage
Work
show examples
 was the highest reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 migration and the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 went to the UK for other
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
.
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 had
migreted
Correct your spelling
migrated
 for 2 to 4
years
Use synonyms
 it was by50 in 2000
then
Linking Words
 it stayed by 50 in 2006. it
dramatecally
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 increased by 100 in 2008.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who had migrated to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 that they had not
activited
Correct your spelling
activated
 in 2000 but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
started
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 150 in 2001,
then
Linking Words
 rapidly went up to 250 which
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stayed still in 2008.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 3 times.
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