IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Your local council is closing the children’s playground in your locality as not many children visit the park. Write a letter to the council requesting not to close it. Include the following in your letter: • How important is the playground for children? • Why don’t children go to the playground? • What can be done to bring children back to the park?

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Dear Sir or Madam I am Nurmuhammad, residing at no.10, Silversmith
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
,
Lunknow
Correct your spelling
Lucknow
. I understand from the papers that the local council has decided to close the football pitch in our locality. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to ask you to reconsider your decision.
Because football
Correct word choice
Football
show examples
 is a game that develops
collective
Correct article usage
the collective
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 actions of children and the fresh air and sunlight are vital for their
overall
Linking Words
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
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.
Besides
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that
Add a comma
that,
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 I saw how gifted kids played in
this
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 stadium.
That is
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 to say, they can become professional
player's
Change the noun form
players
player
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 in the future. One of the reasons why children do not come to the stadium is that the field is almost in a state of disrepair.
Secondly
Linking Words
 the place is overgrown with wild grass and
last
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 week one child
feel
Correct your spelling
fell
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 down to the point of breaking his arms
therefore
Linking Words
 many parents do not
to
Change the verb form
apply
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allow their children to play
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 football pitch. The pitch needs to be
reconstruction
Replace the word
reconstructed
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 for the kids to return. What I want to suggest is if the local council wants, our company is ready to give money for the stadium. Expecting your immediate action in
this
Linking Words
 regard Yours faithfully Nurmuhammad

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coherence and cohesion
Consider organizing your letter into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific point. For example, devote one paragraph to the importance of the playground, another to reasons for low attendance, and a third to suggestions for improvement.
task achievement
While your tone is generally suitable, try to vary your sentence structures and use more formal language to enhance professionalism. For instance, replace phrases like 'I saw how gifted kids played' with more formal observations.
task achievement
Your letter addresses the main points of the prompt and expresses a clear concern about the playground closure.
task achievement
The writing demonstrates a good effort in expressing urgency and the potential benefits to the children of having the playground open.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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