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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that to lead a successful life, a university degree is important. Others believe that this is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people argue that a
university
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degree
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 is essential for achieving
success
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 in life,
while
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 others contend that it is no longer necessary in the modern world. In my view,
while
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 formal education can provide a solid foundation for
success
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, there are alternative paths to achieving
success
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, particularly with the rise of self-learning tools and technology. On the one hand, a
university
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degree
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 equips
individuals
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 with specialized knowledge and skills that are highly valued in many professions. A
degree
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 often signifies a person's commitment, discipline, and ability to master complex concepts within a structured academic environment.
For example
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, professions
such
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 as medicine, law, and engineering typically require formal qualifications to ensure
individuals
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 are adequately trained to perform their roles competently.
However
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, despite the benefits of
university
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 education, it is not without its limitations. The rigid curriculum may restrict the depth of learning in certain areas, and the time spent completing a
degree
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 could potentially limit a person’s ability to explore other interests or practical skills.
On the other hand
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, the rise of the Internet, online learning platforms, and advanced technologies like Artificial Intelligence
has
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have
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 democratized access to knowledge. Self-taught
individuals
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 can now acquire valuable skills and qualifications through online courses, tutorials, and practical experience. With a proactive attitude and dedication, learners can achieve professional
success
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 without a formal
degree
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.
For instance
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, Elon Musk, despite lacking a
degree
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 in aerospace engineering, founded SpaceX by self-learning and reading extensively. His achievements show that
success
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 is not solely determined by traditional educational routes. In conclusion,
while
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 a
university
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degree
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 can be beneficial for many, it is no longer the only path to
success
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. The key to achieving one’s goals lies in continuous learning, self-discipline, and leveraging the vast resources available today.
Therefore
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, I believe that
individuals
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 who are passionate and dedicated to their personal and professional growth can achieve
success
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 regardless of their educational background.

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task achievement
Consider integrating more varied examples to support key points, which can enhance argument strength.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs are as smooth as possible, enhancing the flow of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • benchmark
  • evolving landscape
  • credential
  • vocational training
  • entrepreneurship
  • digital literacy
  • autodidact
  • innovative approaches
  • skill set
  • networking
  • lifelong learning
  • meritocracy
  • practical experience
  • self-taught
  • upskilling
  • resilience
  • adaptive learning
  • critical thinking
  • soft skills
  • technological advancements
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