IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think people can exploit animals for any purpose they need, while others do not think so. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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It is argued that most of the perceptions
dominion
Change preposition
of dominion
show examples
 over
animals
Use synonyms
 for their own purpose ,
equal
Correct article usage
the equal
show examples
 side of
opposing
Correct article usage
the opposing
show examples
 denied it . In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
show examples
 facts and give my approach . Foremost ,
animals
Use synonyms
being
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
hunt
Wrong verb form
hunted
show examples
 by humans from ancient times ,it's not a new form for their livelihood , medical research , medicines, some
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
cuisines
Change preposition
of cuisines
show examples
 and clothing purpose too. Many of the
Use synonyms
animals
Change the noun form
animal
show examples
 species
are exploit
Change the verb form
are exploited
show examples
 due
too
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 human interference . The whole ecosystem is disturbed because of
people
Use synonyms
brutually
Correct your spelling
brutally
 ended
animals
Use synonyms
 .
Moreover
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 forced cruelty towards wild
animals
Use synonyms
 is
exploitation
Add an article
the exploitation
an exploitation
show examples
 of their rights ,
for example
Linking Words
, dolphins , lions and elephants
Add a missing verb
are public
show examples
public show
Replace the word
publicly shown
show examples
 in
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
, in
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
 for entertainment
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
. On the opposite side , some population think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
today is
Add an article
the
an
show examples
arena of vast science . Their is different techniques are
arrived
Verb problem
used
show examples
 for lab testing for new evolutions .
Also
Linking Words
 ,
people
Use synonyms
 do
cruelty
Replace the word
cruel
show examples
free
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
vegetation and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
introduces
Change the verb form
introduce
show examples
 lab prepared meat for
non vegetarian
Add a hyphen
non-vegetarian
show examples
 persons
.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
furthermore
Linking Words
 , with the invention of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 forward toward more
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
rather
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 animal shows . Peoples are more aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the
explaoitation
Correct your spelling
exploitation
of
animals
Use synonyms
 and their effects on earth or on living beings. In conclusion, my opinion addresses the first
criteria
Fix the agreement mistake
criterion
show examples
 about the hands of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 in the
declining
Replace the word
decline
show examples
 of animal lives .
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 use
animals
Use synonyms
 for their own interest
while
Linking Words
 many other options are available too.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your introduction to clearly state your position and outline the main points to be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow between paragraphs by using clearer transitions between points. For example, explicitly state how each point relates to the overall argument.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, when discussing animal exploitation, give concrete examples or statistics to strengthen your point.
task achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have attempted to introduce contemporary ideas related to animal rights and scientific advancement, which is a relevant aspect of the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exploitation
  • Dominion
  • Medical research
  • Ethical considerations
  • Animal rights
  • Humane treatment
  • Environmental consequences
  • Sustainable farming
  • Cruelty-free
  • Technological advancements
  • Lab-grown meat
  • Computer modeling
  • Cultural context
  • Animal welfare
  • Empathy
  • Responsible stewardship
  • Alternatives
What to do next:
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