IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As a country develops, people tend to buy more cars. Do the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

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There is no denying the fact that using a car is invaluable for
every one
Replace the word
everyone
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.
while
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 it is a commonly held belief that there are many pros of having several vehicles, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes
this
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 idea environmentally.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, many people hope
if
Correct word choice
apply
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they have various cars.
In other words
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,
spare
Correct article usage
a spare
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 car means more
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
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of
Change preposition
for
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 road accidents, which means if someone had
an
Change the article
a
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 broken motor, he would use another one.
In addition
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, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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who
Correct determiner usage
those who
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hates
Correct subject-verb agreement
hate
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 a long waiting
in
Change preposition
on
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 public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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.
For example
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, the worker who does not have
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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transport,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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has to ride a train or a bus that
cheaper
Add a missing verb
is cheaper
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 than
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 a
texi
Correct your spelling
taxi
 or
book
Wrong verb form
booking
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an
Uper
Correct your spelling
Uber
 driver.
On the other hand
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, myriad scientists have their concerns
from
Change preposition
about
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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climate change. It is
also
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 possible to say that a lot of car owners need to fill it a gas which causes
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air pollution and
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to climate change and modifies
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
temperatures.
Furthermore
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, the world is suffering from the increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
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populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
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 and many countries are facing these
trajedies
Correct your spelling
tragedies
 which is the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
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 the
crowded
Replace the word
crowd
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. For
instante
Correct your spelling
instance
, imagine that
country
Correct article usage
a country
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 like Egypt has numerous citizens, if
everyone
Replace the word
every one
show examples
 of them has two motors, That would be easy for their
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
 and perfect for their weather
?.
Change the punctuation
.
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 In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that having a lot of vehicles individually has
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 pros compared with the cons to the environment.

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task achievement
Clarify your stance in the introduction more explicitly. Define what you mean by 'the advantages for the individual' and 'the disadvantages for the environment' to give the reader a clearer understanding of your perspective.
coherence
Ensure that the main points in your paragraphs are clearly related to your thesis statement. Each paragraph should focus on one clear idea for coherence.
coherence
Proofread your sentences for grammatical accuracy, particularly run-on sentences and incorrect verb forms, to improve clarity and flow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples that directly illustrate the points you're making. For instance, mention specific environmental impacts caused by car emissions.
positivity
The introduction outlines the topic effectively, and the idea of analyzing from both perspectives is clear.
positivity
The essay concludes with a personal opinion, which is a strong way to summarize the discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon footprint
  • Sustainability
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Fossil fuels
  • Commuting
  • Urban sprawl
  • Ecological impact
  • Economic stimulation
  • Public transportation infrastructure
  • Renewable energy
  • Air quality
  • Environmental degradation
  • Alternative transportation
  • Car dependency
What to do next:
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