In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, or animal products for clothing and medicine, for example. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some people assert that in today's

world

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livestock

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for

food

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or animal items for fashion and therapy are not necessary. I strongly disagree with

this

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notion, considering the effectiveness

Change preposition

show examples

food

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shortages and the valuable

resources

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for local businesses. First and foremost, one compelling argument supporting my stance is that

livestock

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can play a pivotal role in alleviating

world

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hunger. To illustrate, it is widely acknowledged that the

world

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population is expected to be 90 billion by 2050.

Hence

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food

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shortages have been regarded as one of the pressing societal issues worldwide.

Thus

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, governments are required to enhance the amount of crop yields and

livestock

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to feed

such

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foreseeing

Correct article usage

a foreseeing

show examples

world

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population until

then

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Accordingly

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, without

livestock

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, nations may find it extremely challenging to save increasing lives, and utilizing their lives is inevitable.

Moreover

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, items and medicine from wild animals have served as major

resources

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to maintain local communities. Specifically, communities in rural

areas

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have fewer

resources

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, compared to those in urban

areas

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Hence

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, producing

such

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products has offered job opportunities to local individuals.

For example

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, in the countryside of Japan, people have relied on selling gifts made from animals' skins since there are few stable industries in their hometowns.

Therefore

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, If society were to prohibit their activities, they would lose their financial

resources

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. Namely, in rural

areas

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, selling animal-related items can act as their primary business. In conclusion, animal-related industries can contribute to addressing

food

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shortages and securing stable income in rural

areas

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For

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this

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reason, I strongly believe that animal-use products and

food

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are essential even in modern society.

kurosaku5857Sun Feb 09 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your position, which is great. However, you could enhance it by briefly outlining the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs.

task achievement

Ensure that each main point is supported by detailed evidence. While your examples are relevant, expanding them or incorporating additional specifics would strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Consider using clearer transition phrases between points and paragraphs. This will help improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

coherence and cohesion

In your conclusion, it is beneficial to restate the main points you mentioned earlier in a more concise manner to reinforce your argument.

task achievement

You have a strong stance and good engagement with the topic, articulating a clear disagreement with the statement.

task achievement

Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the issue and presents logical reasoning to support your viewpoint.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ethical consumption
sustainability
veganism
synthetic alternatives
bioengineering
animal welfare
culturally ingrained
biodiversity
a shift in paradigm
intensive farming
environmental footprint
plant-based
animal testing
cruelty-free
conservation efforts

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In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, or animal products for clothing and medicine, for example. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Write a letter to your friend about a book that you have read recently. Include the following in your letter: - Describe the book. - Why do you want him/her to read it? - Tell him/her how to get the book.

A 'cashless society' is one where people use debit/credit cards and other forms of payment instead of cash. Do the advantages of a cashless society outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that a persons improve their intellectual skills more when doing a group activity. To what extend do you agree.

more and more people are taking online courses instead of attending face-to-face classes. what are the advantages and disadvantages of taking an online course.

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on sustainable living and reducing environmental impact. What are the challenges of adopting a sustainable lifestyle? What practical actions can individuals take to contribute to sustainability?