In some countries more and more international travel is becoming cheaper and more countries are opening their doors to increase the number of tourists. Do the advantages of increasing tourism outweigh the disadvantage.

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Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that become an international traveller

nowdays

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

, just

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

low

Add an article

the low

a low

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cost to visit some

countries

Use synonyms

and some

countries

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keep

Add an article

the door

show examples

door

Fix the agreement mistake

doors

show examples

opened

Replace the word

open

show examples

for

tourists

Use synonyms

. I believe that international

traveller

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travellers

show examples

bring a lot of positive outcomes

instead

Linking Words

its drawbacks. On the one hand, the downsides of welcoming foreign visitors are varied.

First,

Linking Words

overcrowded

over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the place that

local

Fix the agreement mistake

locals

show examples

usually

visits

Correct subject-verb agreement

visit

show examples

will

happened

Change the verb form

happen

show examples

, and degrading

local

Correct article usage

the local

show examples

quality

life

Change preposition

of life

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, Bandung as one of comfortable urban

city

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cities

show examples

in Indonesia has already become overcrowded because a lot of

people

Use synonyms

windy

Change preposition

for windy

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and

clement

Correct word choice

clean

show examples

environment

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environments

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that can be found only in Bandung.

This

Linking Words

will impact how locals experience good things and detract

experience

Correct article usage

the experience

show examples

tourists

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the benefit of international

traveler

Fix the agreement mistake

travelers

show examples

would exceed all

those

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

drawbacks that

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been mentioned.

First,

Linking Words

improvement on regional economic sides, more occupations will be created to accommodate the needs of

tourists

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. Local

people

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Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

have

Add an article

a job

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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in the hospitality and service sectors that can drive local

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people

Change noun form

people's

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living standards

due to

Linking Words

income

Correct article usage

the income

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

earned by attracting a lot of

tourists

Use synonyms

Second,

Linking Words

growth

Correct article usage

the growth

show examples

of cultural

exhange

Correct your spelling

exchange

for

tourism

Correct article usage

the tourism

show examples

industry would be an

eye opening

Correct your spelling

eye-opener

show examples

for

tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists

show examples

to learn from

ifferent

Correct your spelling

different

backgrounds

interact

Correct word choice

and interact

show examples

, leading to a more tolerant and diverse society. If

Add an article

a tourist

show examples

tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists

show examples

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

an opportunity to learn the culture of society, it will make the name of

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

countries

Use synonyms

famous by learning the culture in

tourism

Add an article

the tourism

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industry because it

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

uniqueness

Add an article

the uniqueness

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

countries

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, it appears to me that the merits of international tourism are more notable than its drawbacks.

vennSun Feb 09 2025

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task achievement

Clarify and expand your introduction to outline the key points you will discuss. Also, ensure you use correct terminology, for instance, instead of 'international traveller,' you could say 'international travelers.'

coherence and cohesion

Ensure consistency in your writing by using appropriate transitions between ideas and paragraphs, such as 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Additionally' to signal shifts in arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Revise and refine specific sentences and phrases for grammatical accuracy and clarity. For example, consider revising 'degrading local quality life' to 'degrading the quality of life for locals.'

task achievement

Provide more specific examples for your points to enhance their relevance and support your arguments more effectively. Consider how tourism impacts local communities in various ways.

argumentative clarity

You have articulated a clear argument in favor of the benefits of international tourism, which is a good stance to take.

example relevance

The examples provided, such as the situation in Bandung, are relevant and help illustrate your points although they can be elaborated further.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic benefits
job creation
hospitality sector
cultural exchange
diversity
infrastructure
public services
environmental degradation
ecosystems
overcrowding
cultural erosion
commercialization
authenticity

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In some countries more and more international travel is becoming cheaper and more countries are opening their doors to increase the number of tourists. Do the advantages of increasing tourism outweigh the disadvantage.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In today's world many people owm a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

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Solar energy is becoming more and more popular as a source of household energy in many countries around the world. Why is this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of solar energy?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.