IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days, many countries have invested money in genetic engineering. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Today, many nations have invested money in genetic
enginnering
Correct your spelling
engineering
. In my opinion, I think
this
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 is a positive development because it can lead to many benefits
such
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 as it can
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use
Wrong verb form
be used
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 to
cure
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diseases
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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and to produce crops more quickly.
Firstly
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, genetic engineering is essential to the future and gained more benefits.
In other words
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, it can be used to produce crops that grow faster and bigger which is
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
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 resistant to insects and
diseases
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.
For example
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, in Saudi Arabia,
dates
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 grow just in hot weather which is not available for the whole year, but using genetic engineering can produce
dates
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 in any season.
As a result
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,
people
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 do not have to wait for the next summer to get
dates
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, and
also
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 many cold countries
using
Wrong verb form
use
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 genetic engineering to produce
dates
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instead
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 of
imported
Wrong verb form
importing
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 from
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 costs a lot.
Secondly
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, genetic engineering helps
people
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 to save their life
,
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apply
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 and keep the body
health
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healthy
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.
That is
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 to say, scientists may
use
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 genetic engineering to
cure
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diseases
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. When
people
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 suffer from
a
Correct article usage
apply
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danagerous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
diseases
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,
sicentists
Correct your spelling
scientists
 can produce medicines that
helps
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help
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people
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 to
cure
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from
Change preposition
apply
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diseases
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, cancer has become common
thses
Correct your spelling
these
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
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which
Correct word choice
when
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the body cannot bear the pain, so many
people
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 dead because of cancer.
Furthermore
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, genetic engineering can
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use
Wrong verb form
be used
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 to save
people
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's
life
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lives
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 and produce
treatment
Fix the agreement mistake
treatments
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 to
cure
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 them.
To sum up
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, I believe that genetic engineering has more positive development that can
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
 to produce crops to grow faster and bigger, and it can
lead
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to help society from illnesses
to produce
Change preposition
by producing
show examples
 medicines to
cure
Use synonyms
 them.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states the topic and your viewpoint. It's beneficial to directly mention the positive aspects of genetic engineering in the introduction, which can enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more complex sentences for better variety in your writing. This will also show a higher level of language proficiency.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your points to make sure they relate closely to your thesis. For example, while you discussed the use of genetic engineering in crops and health separately, emphasizing how these aspects contribute to a common benefit would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
Your examples, such as the use of genetic engineering in growing dates and cancer treatment, illustrate your points effectively.
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