IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that exercise is the key to healtha, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important

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Now
people
Use synonyms
 are split up to the sides of the theme about being healthy by using the gym and being healthy by exploiting diet.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore
this
Linking Words
 debate from the look of advantages and disadvantages and will be explained by using
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons parts. On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
people
Use synonyms
 may keep their health only by using the gym.
This
Linking Words
 sentence has the truth because we can see many
people
Use synonyms
 are getting healthy by using a workout on social media and undoubtedly it requires the will and more time.
But
Correct word choice
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 might be the
worth
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
way
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 some organisms are not matched to losing weight or
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 healthy by using it.
Than
Replace the word
Then
show examples
 it may
arise
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 them stress or other illnesses.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 other ways to be healthy like having a diet. Having a diet is the best
way
Use synonyms
 and the best solution
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
recommended by the high level of doctors.But
also
Linking Words
 it has the same problem
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 discussion.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 may someone have a
blood
Correct word choice
high blood
show examples
 pressure or other illnesses that
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not provide
this
Linking Words
 sort of
way
Use synonyms
 to be healthy.But
also
Linking Words
 it is the best
way
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
whose
Correct your spelling
who do
show examples
 not have
this
Linking Words
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of illness.
To sum
Linking Words
up
Add a comma
up,
show examples
 both of the views have some advantages and disadvantages
for instance
Linking Words
 if you use the gym you can build muscles and a good figure but in the second view you can be only
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
rich your dreams by using the easy
way
Use synonyms
. Get to know both views and
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
conclude .Be healthy and enjoy
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 life.

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task achievement
The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and provide supporting details for those ideas.
task achievement
Try to provide specific examples or data to illustrate your points, which can strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Check grammar and sentence structure for clarity and to avoid confusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic by presenting different perspectives on health.
task achievement
You have made an effort to compare the two sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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