Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, sày that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Public
health
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concerns are increasing worldwide, and many individuals believe that one way to enhance it is by building numerous
sport
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sports
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centers
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centres
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around the country.
However
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, others say that it is important to focus on other measures.
This
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essay will discuss both these views and I will state my own perspective. On the one hand, the modern world has changed the way people live, especially in the workplace. Many people are now in danger of having diseases.
For instance
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, obesity, diabetes, and heart problems all of these
health
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issues are now common among adults and even teenagers.
Moreover
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, there is a common saying around the world, and is "healthy body healthy mind" which shows a strong relationship between the body's
health
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and the mind. Affordable membership in sports facilities can encourage people to be aware of their well-being and result in a healthy society.
Furthermore
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, it can have a great impact on the next generations to be aware of their own
health
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. Yet many believe that the government should prioritize other measures like mental
health
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.
For example
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, overthinking can increase the heartbeat which will cause of having high blood pressure. Even working hours can be reason behind a bad
health
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. In conclusion, from my point of view, I agree with the first opinion which is increasing the number of sports facilities as I believe it can be the main reason for having a healthy community.

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task achievement
Expand your arguments to include more detailed explanations and examples. Specifically, for the points on mental health and government initiatives, consider providing additional context or specific measures that could be taken.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph includes clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of that paragraph. This will help improve the logical flow of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The writer's opinion is stated effectively at the end, which provides a personal touch.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach and critical thinking.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • motivate
  • physical activity
  • healthy lifestyle
  • active community culture
  • recreational activities
  • high-quality
  • awareness
  • physical health
  • wellness
  • guarantee
  • dietary education
  • significant impact
  • comprehensive strategies
  • mental health support
  • environmental changes
  • accessible healthcare
  • financial accessibility
  • geographical accessibility
  • effectiveness
  • promotional campaigns
  • incentivizing
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