IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The issue of some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike has become a highly debated topic in recent years.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that people are getting in danger
becauyse
Correct your spelling
because
 of the young drivers, others maintain that the age for driving is a more beneficial and sustainable solution.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both sides and argue why I strongly believe that
year
Correct article usage
a year
show examples
 is just number is the most effective approach. A key reason why [main argument] is crucial is its long-term impact on [specific area, e.g., economic development, social stability, environmental protection]. Research has shown that countries that focus on [main argument] tend to experience greater [positive outcome], which ultimately contributes to [additional benefit].
For instance
Linking Words
, in [real-world example],
this
Linking Words
 approach has led to remarkable progress in [specific field], demonstrating its effectiveness and sustainability.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 strategy provides long-term advantages for future generations, making it an essential and prudent choice for modern societies.
However
Linking Words
, some critics argue that [opposing argument], emphasizing the potential risks of [negative effect].
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 concern is not without merit, these challenges can be mitigated with the right strategies,
such
Linking Words
 as [policy, solution, or approach]. Governments and organizations can introduce measures to reduce the negative impacts, ensuring that the benefits of [main argument] are maximized.
Therefore
Linking Words
, despite the valid concerns regarding [opposing argument], it does not outweigh the positive outcomes associated with [main argument]. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 both perspectives on [topic] offer valid points, the advantages of [main argument] are far more compelling. By implementing effective policies and strategies, societies can capitalize on its benefits
while
Linking Words
 minimizing potential drawbacks.
As a result
Linking Words
, [main argument] stands as the most beneficial solution to [topic].

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction could better clarify your position regarding the issue. Make sure to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of increasing the minimum legal age.
task achievement
Consider providing specific examples related to your main arguments. This will enhance the clarity and strength of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your paragraphs by ensuring that each point leads naturally to the next. Structure your arguments more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to directly address the topic in your conclusion and summarize your main arguments more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
You have an interesting introduction that engages the reader's attention by framing the issue as a debate, which is a strong start.
task achievement
You recognize opposing arguments, which demonstrates a balanced perspective and strengthens your analysis.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum legal age
  • road safety
  • cognitive skills
  • decision-making abilities
  • comprehensive driver education
  • unlicensed driving
  • economic implications
  • mobility
  • stricter enforcement
  • traffic laws
  • driver education
  • road accidents
  • mature and responsible
  • illegal driving
What to do next:
Look at other essays: