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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

These days consumers are faced with an increasing amount of advertising from various companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertising? What measures should be taken to protect them?

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In
this
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 modern era,
people
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 can see a number of ads on TV or big banners on the side of the road. every company use
this
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 method to increase their marketing and it is true that
this
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 technique helps to attract folks toward products to some extent.
however
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, there are some steps, which will help to reduce the impacts of advertisements. First of all, big companies pay millions of dollars to some famous
people
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,
such
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 as actors, athletes and singers to promote their products. these well-renowned
role-models
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role models
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 for many
people
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. so, when they watch their role model promoting anything, they admire it and are more eager to buy the
product
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.
For example
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, Kurkure is the kind of snack, which had no popularity since 2008 and is only available in local shops. but in 2008,
when
Correct your spelling
the
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 company introduced
this
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product
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 in an advertisement with famous celebrity Juhi Chawla.
this
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product
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sell
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sells
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 everywhere around the world.
Moreover
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, there are some precautions, which help to reduce the impacts of these adverts.
people
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 should not buy everything promoted by their
role-models
Correct your spelling
role models
show examples
. because companies hire them for advertising and pay them for their work. But it is not always true, what is shown in ads.
for instance
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, Coca-Cola is a well-known drink advertised by many influencers which
they
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apply
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show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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 it has good taste and is affordable;
however
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, they do not show the high level of sugar substance added to it.
therefore
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,
people
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 should research anything, which they want to buy and
also
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 should teach their children. so, there is less chance of getting manipulated toward these advertisements.
To conclude
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 it is undeniable that most companies pay huge money to celebrities for promoting their goods.
however
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, in spite of following their role model,
people
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 should use their critical thinking by reading reviews and ratings and deciding whether the
product
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 is good for them or not.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it is fully developed with supporting details.
task achievement
Try to avoid grammatical errors, such as capitalization and punctuation mistakes, to improve the overall clarity of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use transition words to guide the reader through your argument and to enhance flow.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples that support your argument, which helps to illustrate your points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction provides a clear context for the discussion of advertising's influence on consumers.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brand awareness
  • Brand loyalty
  • Emotional appeals
  • Celebrity endorsements
  • Exaggerate
  • Purchase decisions
  • Data analytics
  • Stricter regulations
  • Honesty and transparency
  • Critical thinking
  • Media literacy
  • False advertising
  • Consumer protection agencies
  • Grievances
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