IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the opinion of some people, internet has narrowed the gap among people in the world by increasing social interaction. To what extent do you agree/disagree with this view?

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Most individuals believe that social media has brought significant change among
people
Use synonyms
 these days by lessening interactions among
people
Use synonyms
 and building a large gap in their relationships.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and explain how it negatively and positively impacts our lives. On the one hand, as we know how internet has become a part of everyone's lives nowadays
while
Linking Words
 it is expanding growth. Earlier we used to meet and greet folks physically but now everything has changed and most of the meetings are held online so that they can't directly go and talk to everyone around them
this
Linking Words
 will affect them by staying alone with the one gadget in their hands.
Furthermore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 have become more use of mobiles and even not inviting
people
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 by coming to their homes
however
Linking Words
 it is affecting their well-wisher contacts.
For instance
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, after the COVID-19 pandemic in Manchester, it is observed that
people
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 living there lessen their physical
contact
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 with neighbours
as a result
Linking Words
 they are facing some fights in the neighbourhood.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 contend that the internet helped them to build a way more strong connections with the crowd we may not meet them daily but we can
contact
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 them through video calls, online chats, and meetings.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they think that the internet has changed their lives by giving them jobs through it and helping them to expand their connectivity and make friends throughout the world.
For example
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, a survey conducted at Duke University revealed that students had built their careers through online websites and apps. In conclusion, handsets brought a significant surge by not building face-to-face interactions
although
Linking Words
 it helps to expand their growth.
However
Linking Words
, it depends on individual to expand connectivity through physical
contact
Use synonyms
 by not losing their human values and ethics.
Hence
Linking Words
, we can bring change in society to have physical
contact
Use synonyms
 with their neighbours and friends.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your ideas by using better linking words to connect your paragraphs. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
task response
Focus on clearly defining your stance in the introduction and ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points without introducing new ideas.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This could enhance the clarity and strength of your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of the internet on social interaction, which is commendable.
task achievement
Your attempt to discuss current events, like the COVID-19 pandemic, adds relevance to your arguments.
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