You recently heard about some new jobs at a local department store. You would like to work there. Write a letter to store manager of the department store. In your letter -Explain how you heard about the job -Describe the kind of job you would like to have - Give details of your experience and qualifications

#jobs #department #store #work #manager #-explain #job #-describe #qualifications

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Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently been informed that there are new opportunities in your department store. I would be happy to work with you. Because a friend of mine works for a local employment agency, he reached out to me as soon as he received your employee search announcement.

Furthermore

, he sent me a list of available positions. I am

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outgoing person who likes social interactions and can create

good

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a good

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impression on others.

Therefore

, I am interested in a sales position which would put me in direct contact with customers at the front. My background includes several years of experience working in a local pub in my hometown.

Thus

, I was dealing with lots of different individuals on a daily basis.

Furthermore

, since our town was touristic, I had a chance to serve different people every day.

In addition

to my experience, I have recently completed a 3-month sales course from a well-known education

center

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centre

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. I hope to hear back from you soon. Yours sincerely, Farman Nazarov

Submitted by laman.nazarovaa on Sat Dec 21 2024

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task achievement

Try to expand on how your experience and qualifications match the job role further.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the letter includes a clear concluding paragraph to reinforce why you'd be a good fit.

task achievement

The letter has a clear introduction explaining how you heard about the job, which sets the context well.

coherence cohesion

The transition between sections is smooth, and ideas are logically connected.

task achievement

The writing tone is polite and formal, appropriate for a job application.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph contains a distinct idea about the job application process.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

170 words

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions . Do you agree or disagree?

Some think that printed books are not necessary in the digital era, because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think printed books still play an important role. Discuss both veiw and give your opinion.

some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, videos games and other types of entertainments for children's leisure. how does this affect children. How do you think the problem can be tackled?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.