IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The given illustration represents amount of the two vehicles expenditure for the going to work. They indicated their reasons both of the charts.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given illustration represents
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of the two vehicles expenditure for the going to
work
Use synonyms
. They indicated their reasons
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
 of the charts.
Overall
Linking Words
, the using of cycling and driving
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 various advantages and benefits. The health and fitness and less pollution were
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
, but other tree missions
differ
Wrong verb form
differed
show examples
one
Change preposition
from one
show examples
 another with
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 amount reasons for cycling. Meanwhile, Comfort was considered for driving to
work
Use synonyms
, Faster than cycling and
Need
Correct article usage
the Need
show examples
 to carry things are equal, but Distance to
work
Use synonyms
 and Safer than cycling were indicated slightly different.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, these types of transportation may use some method to go
Use synonyms
work
Change preposition
to work
show examples
. Health and fitness and Less pollution are the most
Correct word choice
important advantage
show examples
advantage
Change the noun form
advantages
show examples
 of cycling, approximately 30 %.
However
Linking Words
, No parking problem, No costs and
Faster
Add a missing verb
was Faster
show examples
 than drawing
were
Verb problem
because it
show examples
consist
Wrong verb form
consisted
show examples
 of small parts,
sample
Fix the agreement mistake
samples
show examples
, No parking problem 15% and other types
represent
Wrong verb form
represented
show examples
 2 or 3 % with
difference
Add an article
a difference
show examples
. Obviously shown that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 The Comfort preceded all kind of things about 40% for Driving reasons. Distance to
work
Use synonyms
 was more with 21% than that others. Faster than cycling and Need to carry were same about 14% but Safer than cycling was the latest, with only 11%

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify the introduction for better understanding by rephrasing it. For example, say 'The illustration compares the reasons for expenses related to two modes of transportation: cycling and driving to work.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the conclusion by summarizing the key points more effectively. Consider restating the main advantages of each mode of transport to reinforce the comparison.
Task Achievement
Ensure grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as correcting 'the using of cycling' to 'the use of cycling'.
Task Achievement
The essay identifies some key advantages of both cycling and driving, which shows some understanding of the task.
Task Achievement
Use of percentages to illustrate the data points is effective, though it could be more clearly organized.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: