IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university to or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages?

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There has been a tendency in the number of learners
taking
Change the verb form
to take
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 a gap
year
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 between high school and college recently.
This
Linking Words
 essay attempts to shed light on both the merits and demerits of
this
Linking Words
 trend before concluding that I am in favour of the previous notion. On the one hand, taking a
year
Use synonyms
 off can help
students
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to
Verb problem
apply
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gain more experience and real-life
knowledge
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 that support their academic path. As some
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not in the book, it is really crucial that learners acquire more
knowledge
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while
Linking Words
 taking a gap
year
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 doing voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 or travelling.
For example
Linking Words
, teenagers who take a sabbatical
year
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 can get higher and more advanced information, experience or
knowledge
Use synonyms
 from volunteering
as well as
Linking Words
 travelling either abroad or
domestic
Change the word
domestically
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. Specifically, travelling to Vietnam can help
students
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 to understand more about agriculture and South East Asia tradition and history.
Thus
Linking Words
, they may know about how hard Vietnamese people had
tackle
Wrong verb form
tackled
show examples
 with challenges from wars by developed countries in the past.
On the other hand
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,
transiting
Verb problem
transitioning
show examples
 from high school to college straightly can help
students
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 to go with the academic flow. As they are still
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the flow of learning, they can keep their mind sharp at any time and acquire university
knowledge
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 more easily.
For instance
Linking Words
,
a
Remove the article
apply
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recent research has pointed out that
students
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 who go straight to university from high school can study more uncomplicatedly than
whom
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 taking a sabbatical
year
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 it is irrefutable that taking a
year
Use synonyms
 off can affect negatively
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
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, I personally think that it is not a case to
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
show examples
 about and its advantages can definitely outweigh the drawbacks.

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task achievement
Work on providing more detailed explanations and supporting points in your paragraphs to make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the flow of your essay by using transitional phrases more effectively to connect ideas, especially between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure your examples are clear and fully explained; for instance, explain how the experience in Vietnam specifically contributes to a student's knowledge or skills.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view by addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, which shows awareness of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • personal growth
  • maturity
  • cultural exposure
  • global awareness
  • empathy
  • work experience
  • internships
  • competitive
  • academic pressures
  • transition
  • financial constraints
  • indecisiveness
  • productive use of time
  • potential drawbacks
  • future plans
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