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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph presents the proportion of individuals going to the gym at least once a month in a specific country between 1990 and 2003.

The graph presents the proportion of individuals going to the gym at least once a month in a specific country between 1990 and 2003.
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The line graph illustrates the percentage of people in four different
age
Use synonyms
 groups who visited the gym at least once a month between 1984 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, the 18-25
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 experienced a significant and steady increase, becoming the largest proportion by the end of the period.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the 26-45 and 65+
age
Use synonyms
 groups saw an
overall
Linking Words
 upward trend,
while
Linking Words
 the 46-65
group
Use synonyms
 declined after an initial rise. In 1984, only about 10% of 18-25-year-olds visited the gym regularly.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure increased sharply and consistently throughout the period, reaching approximately 60% by 2003, making it the dominant
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
. The 26-45
group
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
 stood at around 30% and experienced fluctuations before rising to just above 50% by the end of the period.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the 65+
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, which started as the smallest (below 10%), showed minor fluctuations but ultimately surpassed the 46-65
group
Use synonyms
 by 2003.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the 46-65
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 started as the second largest at around 30% and saw a slight increase in the first five years.
However
Linking Words
, after peaking in 1989, the proportion steadily declined, finishing at just over 10%, making it the smallest
group
Use synonyms
 in 2003.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall, similarly".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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