IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Your local hospital has advertised people to do unpaid work helping at the hospital. You would like to do some work at hospital in your free time. - Explain why you would like to do unpaid work at the hospital - say what type of unpaid work you would be able to do - give details of when you would be available for this work.

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Dear Sir, My name is Vairag,
I
Correct word choice
and I
show examples
am a local resident of the town of Bracebridge, I read an article about voluntary work in our hospital,and I always wanted to do something for our community. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is the perfect opportunity for me to serve and give back to our community.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, regarding my work preference, I am flexible with anything if it is possible I would like to work with the hospital's kitchen department, I have expertise in health and delicious meal preparation, where I can cook various types of cuisines and serve patients and another staff member, ultimately, helps our patients to improve their health.
Additionally
Linking Words
, I am doing my professional job during the weekdays from Monday to Friday, and I am free during the weekends, I am ready to start as soon as possible, if you approve my consideration I will join your hospital's team from
this
Linking Words
 weekend. I look forward to your response and thank you in advance.

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positive highlight
You have clearly expressed your desire to contribute to the community through unpaid work and provided sufficient reasoning for your choice.
advice
While your ideas are generally clear, consider providing more specific examples of your past experiences or skills related to working in a kitchen that would make you a great candidate for this role.
advice
Try to enhance the flow of your essay by using more linking phrases to connect your thoughts more smoothly. For example, using 'Moreover,' or 'In addition,' can help clarify your points.
advice
Make sure to check for minor grammatical errors, such as missing commas or incorrect article usage to improve the overall clarity of your writing.
positive highlight
Your intention to contribute to the community and your willingness to help in the hospital's kitchen is commendable and well-articulated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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