IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Large members of visitors can endanger ancient archeological sites such as Machu Plcchu. In your opinion, is it more important to try to preserve such sites or allow public access to them?

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Ancient
archelolgical
Correct your spelling
archaeological
sites
Use synonyms
 are always
crowed
Correct your spelling
crowded
show examples
 with tourists from all over the world. Sometimes, lots of tourists
make
Verb problem
apply
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harms
Fix the agreement mistake
harm
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those
sites
Use synonyms
 by throwing
trashes
Correct subject-verb agreement
trash
show examples
 or
drowing
Correct your spelling
drawing
on
Correct pronoun usage
it on
show examples
 the wall.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
insisits
Correct your spelling
insists
insist
 that ancient
archeological
Change the spelling
archaeological
show examples
sites
Use synonyms
 must be
preseved
Correct your spelling
preserved
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I do not agree
that
Change preposition
with that
show examples
 opinion
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 there are
couple
Add an article
a couple
show examples
 of ways to allow
visitors
Use synonyms
 without damage to the
sites
Use synonyms
. Many
people
Use synonyms
worries
Change the verb form
worry
show examples
 that many
tourism
Replace the word
tourist
show examples
sites
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as Machu Picchu are in danger because of public access, so they argue that those
sites
Use synonyms
 should be preserved by prohibiting
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourisits
Correct your spelling
tourists
. I understand what they
worried
Add a missing verb
are worried
show examples
, because
Change preposition
about, because
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 I sometimes have seen some scratches on the
wall
Fix the agreement mistake
walls
show examples
 of
tourism
Replace the word
tourist
show examples
sites
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, I totally agree those behaviours must be banned.
However
Linking Words
, prohibiting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pubic
Correct your spelling
public
show examples
 access to them is not the only way to preserve our precious ancient
archeological
Change the spelling
archaeological
show examples
sites
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 can make safe them by limiting
daily
Change the article
a daily
the daily
show examples
 number of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 or
positioning
Verb problem
placing
show examples
 more
safe guards
Correct your spelling
safeguards
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 important
sites
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, installing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
warning signs and cameras is another effective way that make
visitors
Use synonyms
 do not
bad
Add a missing verb
have bad
show examples
 behaviours. In conclusion, even though, large members of
visitors
Use synonyms
 can endanger ancient
archelological
Correct your spelling
archaeological
site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 can handle those issues without
closure
Correct article usage
the closure
show examples
 of those
sites
Use synonyms
 through
daily
Change the article
a daily
the daily
show examples
 number of tourist
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
, warning
sign
Fix the agreement mistake
signs
show examples
 or more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
safety
staffes
Correct your spelling
staff
. All
visitors
Use synonyms
 must keep in mind that those
site s
Correct your spelling
sites
show examples
 are protected by all of them.

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task achievement
Try to enhance the clarity of your main points by elaborating on your ideas. Providing more explanation or examples can strengthen your argument.
coherence
Work on your paragraph structure to ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details. This will help improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence
Make sure to proofread your work to correct any spelling or grammatical errors. This will improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion and provided some valid points against the idea of closing sites to visitors, which reflects a personal engagement with the topic.
coherence
You provided a reasonable structure to your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a good foundation for coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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