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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Mobile phone subscriptions Telephone subscriptions STEP 2 - Write your answer Type your answer here

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Mobile phone subscriptions Telephone subscriptions STEP 2 - Write your answer Type your answer here
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The two given line graphs compared the use of mobile and
landline
Fix the agreement mistake
landlines
show examples
 in four different countries. The study was conducted over a period of 10 years, commencing from 2005 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, in terms of using mobile
phones
Add a comma
phones,
show examples
 all countries showed an upward trend.
Whereas
Linking Words
, fixed telephone subscriptions represented a downward trend. It is clear from the graphs that Ertirea
togather
Correct your spelling
together
 with India had no data of using telephone and mobile at initial and slightly rose to only 2 per hundred
people
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
However
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the used
show examples
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of wireless in India escalated by 0 to roughly 75 per hundred
people
Use synonyms
 in 2015. Probing
further
Linking Words
, United Kingdom
people
Use synonyms
 depicted
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher number of mobile and landline
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 as for fixed line it slightly fell to less
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 tenth.
While
Linking Words
 for wireless in 2005 100
people
Use synonyms
 used and after a decade 2%
people
Use synonyms
 increased.
Uruguary
Correct your spelling
Uruguay
 is the country which illustrated
constant
Change the article
a constant
the constant
show examples
 number of telephone
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 throughout the study. Meanwhile,
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of mobile showed
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remarkable growth as in 2005 it stood
under
Change preposition
at under
show examples
 50
people
Use synonyms
 per hundred and dramatically
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 to 150
people
Use synonyms
 per hundred.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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