Some people belive that university education should only be offered to those who can pay for their own courses and the government should not be expected to fund higher education. to what extent do you agree?

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Education
Use synonyms
is the key point to the development of human beings. In my opinion, it is too narrow and
crutial
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crucial
critical
to just provide "
uninversity
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university
education
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" or
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
education
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to people who have
ability
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the ability
show examples
to afford their tuition fees.
Beisides
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Besides
,
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the goverment
show examples
goverment
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government
should
also
Linking Words
shoulder the responsibility to develop
education
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, rather than worrying about whether it is a
burdern
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burden
to
fiancial
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financial
expense. Here are my
expalnation
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explanation
explanations
. First of all, poor students
attend
Verb problem
tend
show examples
to cherish more
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the opportunity to get admitted to
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
and they tend to work harder to gain more
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
, because
this
Linking Words
may be the only chance for them to get rid of their
worn out
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worn-out
show examples
jeans. My grandpa, born in a poor
villedge
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village
in Guang Dong, China, successfully graduated from Shang Hai Jiao Tong
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
and became the first architect in my hometown. Without
surpport
Correct your spelling
support
from school and his own hard work, he would still be a fishman in that
villedge
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village
like his old man. It
also
Linking Words
proves that higher
education
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provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
more
talents
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talent
show examples
for the country and society. With more talents graduated from college, the society would be constructed in a better way.
Besides
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, some people may argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
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before
univercity
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university
has
proveided
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provided
enough courses for a normal person to make a living and it is a waste of tax to
surpport
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support
university
education
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.
However
Linking Words
, different majors in the college provide advanced knowledge for students to become
professions
Replace the word
professionals
show examples
in their target area. The development of technology has already changed the
living
Replace the word
lives
show examples
of humans. A country which wants to get higher status and more powerful international right of speech must store more elites.
Instead
Linking Words
of spending millions of money to hire
talents
Fix the agreement mistake
talent
show examples
from
other country
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another country
other countries
show examples
, why not put more funds
on
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into
show examples
higer
Correct your spelling
higher
education
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? All in all, the right to get higher
education
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should not be constrained
with
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by
show examples
personal fortune. It is the
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of all society to
surpport
Correct your spelling
support
education
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.

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task achievement
Consider revising your thesis statement. Clearly outlining your stance would strengthen your introduction.
coherence
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that relates to your main argument.
coherence
Work on grammar and spelling. Small mistakes can distract from your ideas and weaken your overall message.
task achievement
Provide more varied examples to support your arguments, illustrating how education contributes to personal and societal development.
task achievement
You effectively use a personal example to illustrate your point about the value of education.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for task completion.
coherence
You provide thoughtful reasons for the importance of government support in education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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