Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from home and more children will study from home, as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accesible . Do you think this will be a positive or negative development.

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In modern

soceity

Correct your spelling

society

, people are not always required to work or study

onsite

Correct your spelling

on site

show examples

because of the advancement of technology and the accessibility of computers. Even though working and learning from

home

Use synonyms

have undeniable advantages, I believe

this

Linking Words

trend brings negative impacts for both adults and

children

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, working from

home

Use synonyms

impacts employees' performance. Individuals feel relaxed and comfortable when they are

home

Use synonyms

thus

Linking Words

they need to spend extra effort to stay concentrated

while

Linking Words

handling

work related

Add a hyphen

work-related

show examples

issues. Plus, people tend to find themselves have difficulties in

remaining

Verb problem

maintaining

show examples

satisfactory work performance as they are easily distracted by the various devices available at

home

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. A recent survey result indicated that over 20% of workers do not enjoy working from

home

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after approximately four months because of the challenges in maintaining their attention

while

Linking Words

working from

home

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, studying from

home

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damages both

physical

Correct article usage

the physical

show examples

and mental development of

children

Use synonyms

Children

Use synonyms

who study from

home

Use synonyms

tend to spend a significant amount of time in front of screens with little movements, leading to obesity and eyesight decreased.

Additionally

Linking Words

, unlike the traditional learning model that students have to attend school, youngsters gain limited opportunities to participate in various activities,

therefore

Linking Words

, they have less chance of making authentic friendships with their peers, leading to loneliness and depression. In conclusion, working and learning from

distance

Add an article

a distance

show examples

can bring

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

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influence. Not only employees are less productive as working from

home

Use synonyms

fail

Correct subject-verb agreement

fails

show examples

to provide a distraction-free environment, but

also

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

pysical

Correct your spelling

physical

and mental health is under threat. Even though working and learning from

home

Use synonyms

is advantageous, we cannot neglect the disadvantages it brings to both adults and

children

Use synonyms

xinyu.liu3Tue Feb 11 2025

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task achievement

Consider expanding the introduction to provide a clearer overview of the main arguments you will discuss in your essay. This helps set the stage for your reader.

task achievement

In the section on the impact of working from home on employees, it could strengthen your argument to include more concrete examples or statistics to support your claims about distraction and performance.

coherence and cohesion

To enhance coherence, use more linking phrases to better connect your ideas within and between paragraphs. This creates smoother transitions for the reader.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure to check for minor spelling mistakes, such as 'soceity' (society) and 'pysical' (physical). Small errors can detract from the overall professionalism of your essay.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear argument against working and studying from home, which is well articulated in both the introduction and conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You logically structured your ideas into clear paragraphs, which makes your argument easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from home and more children will study from home, as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accesible . Do you think this will be a positive or negative development.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

As languages such as English, Spanish and Mandarin become more widely spoken, there is a fear that many minority languages may die out. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages. What is your view of this practice?

Companies should try to make their workers satisfied at work. Do you agree or disagree?

Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students’ sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form of punishment. However, others hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.