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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
It is often argued that reducing air
travel
Use synonyms
 could help protect the environment. Some people believe
this
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 shift brings clear environmental benefits,
while
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 others think the disadvantages for individuals and businesses outweigh these gains. In my opinion, the drawbacks are more significant than the environmental advantages.
Body paragraph 1
One major disadvantage is the impact on businesses that rely on international
travel
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is because many companies depend on face-to-face meetings to build client relationships and close deals.
As a result
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, replacing
flights
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 with video calls can slow down business operations and reduce efficiency.
For example
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, a company negotiating a contract abroad may lose the deal to a competitor willing to
travel
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 in person.
This
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 shows that reducing
flights
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 can directly harm business performance.
Body paragraph 2
Another important factor is the effect on individuals, particularly those with family or personal ties abroad.
This
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 is largely
due to
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 the fact that flying is often the only realistic way to visit relatives living in distant countries.
Consequently
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, reducing
flights
Use synonyms
 can mean fewer opportunities to maintain close family relationships.
For instance
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, someone with parents living overseas may only be able to visit them once every few years
instead
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 of annually.
This
Linking Words
 demonstrates that flying reductions can create real personal hardship, not just inconvenience.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe the disadvantages of reducing
flights
Use synonyms
 outweigh the environmental benefits, because both businesses and individuals depend heavily on air
travel
Use synonyms
 for essential activities that are difficult to replace.

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task response
Your view is clear, and you give two good reasons: work and family. To make the answer more complete, explain the environmental side in more detail. For example, say that fewer flights may cut air pollution and help slow climate change, then show clearly why these gains are still less important than the harm you describe.
task response
Your examples fit your main ideas, but they are quite general. Add one more real and clear detail, such as a worker who must meet a new client in another country, or a family who live many hours away by plane. This will make your points feel stronger.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow. Each body part has one main idea and a clear example. To make the link between ideas even better, compare the two sides more directly. For instance, after discussing cleaner air, use a sentence such as: 'However, this benefit may not make up for the problems for people and firms.'
coherence and cohesion
Your opening and ending match well. In the body, avoid using the same pattern too often, such as 'This is because', 'As a result', and 'This shows'. Use some shorter, direct sentences too, so the writing feels less planned and more natural.
task response
You answer the main question directly and keep the same clear view from the start to the end.
task response
The points about business meetings and visits to family are relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: an opening, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words such as 'For example', 'As a result', and 'Consequently' help the reader follow your ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • benefits
  • environment
  • pollution
  • travel
  • businesses
  • individuals
  • challenges
  • meetings
  • connections
  • effort
  • manage
  • remotely
  • money
  • stress
  • local
  • culture
  • discovering
  • innovative
  • technology
  • ways
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