IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past shopping was a routine domestic task , many people nowadays regard it as a hobby

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Previously, going to the market for shopping g was considered to be a task for covering family demands. In our contemporary era,
however
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, shopping transformed
to
Change preposition
into
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 an entertainment activity. In my opinion, I would argue that
this
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 is an absolutely positive trend.
Due to
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 the role in fostering the economy,
in addition
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 to the whole family enjoyment. Obviously, wandering in shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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 that are erected in most nowadays city's downtowns.
This
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 activity could be regarded as a definitely positive change. Owing to the fact that families are mostly accompanied by children who would mostly
served
Change the verb form
be served
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 by amusing facilities
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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equipped by
most
Add an article
the most
a most
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 recent plaza.
Consequently
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,
this
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 will be a compelling factor in order to get weekend
minrest
Correct your spelling
min rest
interest
.
For example
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, in the city of Baghdad, recently most shopping malls
has
Change the verb form
have
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 been supported by
an
Correct article usage
apply
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indoor
play grounds
Correct your spelling
playgrounds
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 located at the upper storeys. Families,mostly, prefer
this
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 type of amusing
facilities
Fix the agreement mistake
facility
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 because of
it's
Replace the word
its
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 safety and cheapness.
Moreover
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, the current development of
changing
Replace the word
changes
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 in the style of marketing from daily
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 to pleasure would be extremely effective in boosting the national
e onomy
Correct your spelling
economy
. That's to say, By rising sale rates in the local market.
Subsequently
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, The general status of the common trades is going to be flourished.
For instance
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, Many individuals in our community insist
to gain
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on gaining
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 the new version of any electronic gadget. Despite
of
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apply
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the little difference from what they already have.
This
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 approach is a considerable factor in providing the national economy with
tremendous
Add an article
a tremendous
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 amount of resources .
To sum up
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, The new variation of marketing to be just like a practice for recreation is an excellent inclination, owing to the factors mentioned above.

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lexical resource
Try to use more varied vocabulary in your writing to enhance the richness of your language. Avoid repeating words like 'shopping' and 'family.'
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and includes clear examples that directly support your points. This can improve coherence.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed and could be simplified for clarity, which will enhance fluency.
content
You clearly express your opinion on the change in perception of shopping and its benefits, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of accomplishment
  • overcoming obstacles
  • gratifying
  • continuous source of enjoyment
  • relaxing activities
  • unwind and de-stress
  • counterproductive
  • mental break
  • subjective
  • personal preference
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