IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents , for instance in sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sprts person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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In
this
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essay
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essay,
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i
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I
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 would like to
support
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 my view that even a
person
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 with no natural
talent
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 in sports and
music
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 can be trained to be a better
sport
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sports
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person
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 or musician. The
person
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 who
are
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is
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 born with natural
talent
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 will require proper training to make sure that they perform in their field
along with
Linking Words
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 environment and place to
support
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his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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talent
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Firstly
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 to
support
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 my view ,
i
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I
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 would like to take the example of
comparison
Correct article usage
a comparison
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 between Messi and Pogba who are claimed to have
born
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been born
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 with a natural
talent
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of
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in
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 their footballing
skills
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However
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 , considering a period of 10 years of their career , it can be easily noted that Messi had a better career because he not only used his natural
in born
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inborn
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talent
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 , but
also
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 improved his
skills
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 through better effort in training , but Pogba was not able to maintain his
skills
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 , because of his poor training techniques with his team , leading to poor
perfomances
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performances
performance
 and not living
upto
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up to
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 the hype
Furthermore
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 to the training required ,
its
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it's
it is
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 important that the
person
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 with born
talent
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are
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is
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 born in the correct environment and place to
support
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 his footballing or musician
skills
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 . Suppose a
person
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 who has a natural
talent
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to
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for
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 rap
music
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 ,
are
Change the verb form
is
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 born into a background like
in
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apply
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India where
tradition
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traditional
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music
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more priority or preferred ,
then
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Use synonyms
person
Add an article
the person
a person
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 cannot be able to nurture his musical
talent
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 which is very important for the
person
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 to expand his
skills
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 In view of the above , it can be concluded that the opinion , that any
person
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 irrespective of being born with certain talents in sports and
music
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 or not , can be provided training
along with
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proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
Correct your spelling
environment
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 to teach certain talents in football or
music
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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider revising sentence structure for clarity and grammatical accuracy. For example, use 'are' instead of 'is' in 'the person who are born with natural talent'.
Task Achievement
Make sure to provide a more balanced discussion by offering a stronger argument for the opposing view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance your conclusion by clearly summarizing your main points and reaffirming your opinion more explicitly.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and supports it with examples, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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