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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

"It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?"

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Punishment
Use synonyms
 is known as an approach to teach children right from wrong.
Although
Linking Words
 some people believe that it is an effective way to discipline, I strongly disagree with
this
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 view as it ignores the harmful unrepairable damages of
punishment
Use synonyms
 in children's mental and social development that can be replaced with other methods
such
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 as rewards. One who is exposed to corporal
punishment
Use synonyms
 tends to demonstrate aggression in both domestic and social communications. children imitate their parents' attitudes and solving- problem methods.
For instance
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, if they are slapped or faced with corporal punishments at home they will act in the same way at similar social interaction.
Thus
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, lack of problem-solving and positive attitudes will affect their friendships and lead to social isolation. pre-schoolers are
also
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 strongly ambitious to their parent's approval. When the child receives an affirmation or extra play time in return for contributing to house chores they are motivated to continue these cooperations and taking more responsibilities.
Additionally
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, being successful in those works will boost their self-confidence and increase their sense of responsibility.
As a result
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, they are raised as a well-oriented, highly responsible, and committed member of society and the workplace. In conclusion, I strongly reiterate that rewarding and supporting their positive acts will have a significant role in their moral and ethical progression
while
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punishment
Use synonyms
 leads to ineffective results and dysfunctional family circumstances that prohibit a child's nurture.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate your ideas more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure you're using proper capitalization at the beginning of sentences and proper nouns to enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
Consider linking your ideas with more cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', or 'In addition' to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the issue, which is a key part of the task.
task achievement
You effectively discuss the negative effects of punishment and the benefits of reward-based systems, which are relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Moral development
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Negative reinforcement
  • Behavioral psychology
  • Disciplinary methods
  • Corporal punishment
  • Psychological effects
  • Authoritative parenting
  • Permissive parenting
  • Behavioural correction
  • Ethical considerations
  • Legal frameworks
  • Cognitive development
  • Social norms
  • Character building
  • Restorative practices
  • Authoritarian approach
  • Constructive criticism
  • Pro-social behavior
  • Conditioning
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