Many schoolschildren today take part in work experience sessions for short periods of time instead of attending school

Nowadays, many children have a number of activities to become occupied with.
While
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some people think that it is a
positivie dvelopment
Correct your spelling
positive development
for young children to take part in practical activity sessions
instend
Correct your spelling
instead
of going to class,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
think it has a negative impact. In
this
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essay, I will
discussing
Change the verb form
discuss
be discussing
show examples
the positive and negative impact of
this
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.
To begin
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with, the important advantage of enrolling youths into
work
Use synonyms
experience sessions
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
they
inculate
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inculcate
insulate
the habit of learning to
work
Use synonyms
pratically
Correct your spelling
practically
rather than focusing on their studies.
Moreover
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, practical exposure helps
tenagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
to learn and understand various aspects
effecteeeeeeely
Correct your spelling
effectively
and efficiently. For
unstance
Correct your spelling
instance
, a recent study done in Australia
sgowed
Correct your spelling
showed
that students who participated in
tast
Correct your spelling
test
experience activities
understooad
Correct your spelling
understood
the concepts better than those who only
concertrated
Correct your spelling
concentrated
concentrate
on school education. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
of which it
contibutes
Correct your spelling
contributes
towards their personal growth.
On the other hand
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, there
also
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hava
Correct your spelling
has
a negative impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
negative impacts
a negative impact
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
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situation. Some student always focus on their career and their body will feel
fatigue
Change the verb form
fatigued
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
affect their studies.
For example
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, many
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
work
Use synonyms
8 hours per day and they need to do their homework
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while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
during the
pratically
Correct your spelling
practically
. Some
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
cannot attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family
gathering
Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
show examples
as they need to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion,
although
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work
Use synonyms
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
is important to their life
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
attending
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
also
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get
Verb problem
gives
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
and knowledge.

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. It will help guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Work on transitioning between paragraphs and ideas to improve the overall flow of your essay.
task response
When presenting examples, ensure they are spelled correctly and relate directly to the point you are making.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity.
task response
You provided both positive and negative perspectives, which is a good approach to the task.
task response
Your examples indicate some research, which adds value to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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