IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Living in a country where you have to spake a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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An increasing number of
people
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 immigrate to different countries for better job opportunities or education. Some
people
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 believe that staying in countries where
people
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 are forced to speak another
language
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 creates not only social issues
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 obstacles and barriers for individuals in their daily lives. I agree with
this
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 viewpoint because of the following reasons. First of all, speaking a different
language
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 may lead to ethnic stereotypes, separation and even discrimination.
People
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 who communicate
with
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in
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 the same
language
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 tend to gather together and form small communities to support each other.
However
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,
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due to
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apply
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the
language
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 barriers,
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this
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apply
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leads
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lead
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 to less communication and connections with other groups, leading to more stereotypes and isolation.
In addition
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, governments are less likely to take these small communities into
considerations
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consideration
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 when making decisions as they are less connected to the mainstream.
This
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phonomenon
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phenomenon
 leads to inequality and even discrimination.
Second,
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international workers might face extra challenges in their workplace
due to
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 the
language
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 barriers. International employees tend to have difficulties in expressing themselves accurately, which leads to ineffective
commnucation
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communication
 with their supervisors and colleagues, damaging their work performance.
Additionally
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, speaking different
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language
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languages
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 adds obstacles when socializing with their colleagues since they cannot fully understand certain jokes or expressions.
Therefore
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, with all these extra
buden
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burden
burdens
 and
difficuties
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difficulties
, immigrants might not perform as
exceptional
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exceptionally
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 as in their home country. In conclusion, I think living in a country where
Correct article usage
a foregin
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foregin
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foreign
language
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 is spoken leads to social issues
such
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 as separation and discrimination, and the
language
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 barrier might impact their work performance and ability.

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grammar
Ensure that you proofread for spelling errors (e.g., 'spake' should be 'speak', 'phonomenon' to 'phenomenon', 'commnucation' to 'communication', 'buden' to 'burden', 'difficuties' to 'difficulties', 'foregin' to 'foreign'). These mistakes can distract the reader from your ideas.
content
Try to provide more specific examples or data to support your claims. For instance, citing studies or statistics on how language barriers affect social interactions could strengthen your argument.
style
Consider varying your sentence structure to enhance the fluency of your writing. This can help maintain the reader's interest and improve the overall readability of your essay.
structure
Your introduction clearly states your position, and you provide a logical framework for your arguments, which helps in understanding your perspective.
content
You've effectively identified key areas in which language barriers can lead to social and practical issues, providing a clear basis for your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • language barrier
  • social integration
  • employment opportunities
  • access to services
  • cultural understanding
  • economic stability
  • isolation
  • misunderstanding
  • community events
  • social activities
  • alienation
  • cultural exchange
  • unequal treatment
  • social disparities
  • fluency
  • job seekers
  • industry requirements
  • language proficiency
  • nuances
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