Some people argue that money is the most important factor to stay in the job other think otherwise discuss both sides and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some individuals think that

money

Use synonyms

is the most important

factor

Use synonyms

to stay in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

job

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others believe that different think

money

Use synonyms

isn't the most important

factor

Use synonyms

to stay in the

job

Use synonyms

. It is important to admit that both views have their own advantages. I believe that

money

Use synonyms

is the most important

factor

Use synonyms

to stay in the

job

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, some people argue that

money

Use synonyms

is not an important

factor

Use synonyms

to stay in the

job

Use synonyms

because many benefits can get in the

job

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, it can be raising an experience and get a friendly co-workers.

For instance

Linking Words

, it can increase self-development and achievements

On the other hand

Linking Words

, others think that

money

Use synonyms

is the most important

factor

Use synonyms

in staying in a

job

Use synonyms

because

money

Use synonyms

can buy anything.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, salaries are crucial in looking for a

job

Use synonyms

, and

money

Use synonyms

can give us positive vibes when we get it. Meanwhile,

money

Use synonyms

can improve lifestyles.

For instance

Linking Words

, it is an opportunity to fulfil circumstances and make a well-being life. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

individuals get many benefits other than

money

Use synonyms

, I believe getting

salary

Correct article usage

a salary

show examples

is the most important to stay in the

job

Use synonyms

l.cahyatriantiWed Feb 12 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure to clearly differentiate the two views in the introduction. Use more precise language to depict each argument. For example, clarify the benefits outside of money.

task achievement

When providing examples, make them more specific and directly related to the point being made. This will strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Work on sentence construction for clarity. Several sentences can be simplified or restructured for better understanding.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that outlines its main idea. This will improve overall flow and coherence.

task achievement

Your opinion is clearly stated in the introduction and conclusion, which is important for coherence.

task achievement

Some relevant points are presented that touch on the various aspects of job satisfaction.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

190 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others belleve it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Today, many students intend to participate in subjects that are not related to their major in University. However, there is an opposing idea that they should merely focus on their field of study and gain one qualification. Despite this controversy, I believe that multitasking is more beneficial in both life and career. In this essay, I will discuss both views and express my opinion either.
7.5
band
More people are educating themselves with online educational sources. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
A lot of humans are studying by self-education with the help of online learning resources.Today we have the internet and access to many educational sources in different categories. At first sight, it seems to be good however it may have some flaws such as inaccurate information, the absence of a teacher, and a long education period. In my opinion, these disadvantages are minor.
6.5
band
Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Investing in transportation infrastructure is crucial for economic development and improving citizens’ quality of life. Some argue that governments should prioritize funding for railways over roads. While both modes of transportation have their merits, this essay will explore the benefits and drawbacks of each approach to determine to which one should be prioritized over the other.
7
band
Some people believe that schools should reward those students who show excellent academic performance while some believe that only the ones who show significant improvement in the grades should be rewarded. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Recently there has been a heated debate about how institutions should recompense the alumni, some believe that only the best among them should be, while others think that the ones who have shown significant improvement when compared to the beginning of their studies should.
7
band
Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are people who believe that it is mandatory to give full-time education to students around 18 years old. However, I somewhat stand with the view that this will only develop more negative effects on learners.

Some people argue that money is the most important factor to stay in the job other think otherwise discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others belleve it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

More people are educating themselves with online educational sources. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?