IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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There is no denying the fact that the number of individuals with health conditions, who are trying to
use
Use synonyms
 herbal treatments, rather than visiting a doctor is increasing .
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that , a physician is the only one who
prescribe
Change the verb form
prescribes
show examples
 medicines, there is an argument that says, people can
use
Use synonyms
 herbals
instead
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 of drugs.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse the topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, herbel using may have a positive impact on your health.
In other words
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, the intake of something natural that your body can handle
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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easily,
also
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 it is rapidly adapted.
In addition
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, herbals have few side effects, compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
synthesized drugs, and often you can have them
in
Change preposition
at
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 affordable prices.
For example
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, in
sudan
Change the capitalization
Sudan
show examples
 people
use
Use synonyms
habiscus
Correct your spelling
hibiscus
 juice to treat hypertension.
On the other hand
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, using
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this alternatives
Change the determiner
this alternative
these alternatives
show examples
 could be inappropriate. It is
also
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 possible to say that, In rare cases, they interact with the drugs you
use
Use synonyms
, rendering
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to harm your body or not to benefit it at all.
Moreover
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, they produce
Small
Change the article
a Small
the Small
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 number of adverse
affect
Correct your spelling
effects
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, but sometimes when you
use
Use synonyms
 them chronically,may cause organ failure.
For instance
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,
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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 proved that turmeric
use
Use synonyms
 for Rheumatism can lead to Renal Failure. In conclusion, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 no easy way to answer
this
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 question.
In
Change preposition
On
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 balance,
however
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, I believe that alternative medicines do have satisfactory effects on
heath
Correct your spelling
health
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 and treatment, but we need to deal
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 caution with them
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and have
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough knowledge.

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your opinion. Avoid presenting it as a debate without a clear stance.
coherence and cohesion
Eliminate grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better clarity and impact.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating understanding of the topic.
task achievement
There are relevant examples included, such as hibiscus juice for hypertension and turmeric for rheumatism.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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