IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The given line graph illustrates the travel to and form the UK from 1979 to 1999. The bar chart shows the most popular countries visited by the UK residents in the year 1999.

The given line graph illustrates the travel to and form the UK from 1979 to 1999. The bar chart shows the most popular countries visited by the UK residents in the year 1999.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A glance at the line graph given illustrates the
amount
Use synonyms
 of United Kingdom Residents
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 abroad and the
amount
Use synonyms
 of United
Kingdom's
Change noun form
Kingdom
show examples
 guests from other countries between 1979 to 1999.
While
Linking Words
 the bar chart given reveals the states that
UK
Use synonyms
citizens
Use synonyms
visitted
Correct your spelling
visited
 in 1999. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it can be seen that between 1979
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 1999,
UK
Use synonyms
citizens
Use synonyms
most
Rephrase
were more
show examples
 likely to
went
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 abroad compared to other states's
citizens
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 1999, France attained to be the highest
amount
Use synonyms
 which
visitted
Correct your spelling
visited
 by
UK
Use synonyms
citizens
Use synonyms
. From an initial figure, in 1979,
UK
Use synonyms
citizens
Use synonyms
 went abroad by around 12
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 world
citizens
Use synonyms
 came to
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 by 10
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 individuals. In around 1984, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
UK
Use synonyms
citizens
Use synonyms
 who went overseas grew steadily by around 20
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the following years,
this
Linking Words
amount
Use synonyms
 increased significantly to approximately 52
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in 1999.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of world
citizens
Use synonyms
 increased steadily as well
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 11
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 individuals in 1984 and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 little significantly to approximately 29
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in 1999.
From the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 bar chart, states that
UK
Use synonyms
Citizens
Use synonyms
 loved to go in 1999 were Turkey, Greece,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, Spain, and France
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
 The chart
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 that
UK
Use synonyms
citizens
Use synonyms
 came to France by around 11
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 and it obtained the first place.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 Spain obtained
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 around 8
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 spots were
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, Greece, and Turkey,
subsequently
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Turkey attained the
last
Linking Words
 place by around 3
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in 1999.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, subsequently, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, uk, citizens, millions, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: