Some people argue that it is natural talents makes a sportsman famous. Other believe that it is hard work. Discuss both the view with your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that sportsmen
famous
Add a missing verb
are famous
show examples
made
through
Change preposition
of
show examples
natural
talents
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Some people argue that,
while
Linking Words
others think
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
Use synonyms
work
Replace the word
working
show examples
hard is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
main effect of
famous
Add a missing verb
being famous
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I am going to discuss both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
views.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural
talents
Use synonyms
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
a sportsmen
Correct the article-noun agreement
sportsmen
a sportsman
show examples
famous. To explain,
these category
Change the determiner
this category
these categories
show examples
of people think a famous
create
Wrong verb form
created
show examples
when
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
born
Add a missing verb
is born
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
messi
Change the capitalization
Messi
show examples
son is famous because his father
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
famous player in the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I totally agree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
hard
work
Use synonyms
is a main effect of
famous
Replace the word
fame
show examples
. To clarify, the
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
indicated
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
skills grow through
work
Use synonyms
hard.
For instance
Linking Words
, famous
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
show examples
in the world depend on training their players before playing.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
work
Use synonyms
hard is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best way to reach
famous
Replace the word
fame
show examples
. To summarize, the sportsman famous
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
by hard
work
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the idea of natural
talents
Use synonyms
is not a good method to
becomes
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
famous. After
Correct article usage
a through
show examples
through
Correct your spelling
thorough
show examples
analysis
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
subject, it is predicted
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
natural
talents
Use synonyms
grow
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
hard
work
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clarity
Improve clarity by using correct grammatical structures; avoid run-on sentences.
supporting examples
Provide more specific examples to support your points, as more detailed evidence will strengthen your argument.
cohesion
Make sure your ideas flow logically; use clearer transition phrases between points and paragraphs.
content
You've made a strong attempt to address both views and express your opinion, which is important in IELTS writing.
organization
The structure of your essay is recognizable, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: