In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks.

#cities #video #cameras #places #crime #people #measures #freedom #security

As the crime rate is rising. It is advised to have security

cameras

in public

places

However

, some people feel insecure and uncomfortable around them. It appears to be a hurdle in one's privacy. In my view, the advantages of having

cameras

are far more than the disadvantages. In

this

essay, we will discuss why the benefits are more than the drawbacks. First of all,

video

surveillance promotes a safe environment. With the fear of getting caught, criminals think twice before doing any wrong deeds.

Additionally

video

cameras

act as valid and strongest proof in legal firms. It makes investigation easy and helps to find out who is guilty. Not only

this

but

also

, one can easily monitor their properties or business by sitting far away. Having

cameras

solves many problems,

for example

Add a comma

show examples

finding missing items, shoplifting and many more. In recent reports released by the provincial police of Ontario, 55%

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

crimes are reported after making it mandatory to have

cameras

in public

places

Secondly

video

cameras

come in handy for public

places

, which get a lot of traffic. We cannot deny the fact that being supervised all the time creates doubt. There are high chance that one can misuse the data.

However

, the advantage of the

video

camera cannot be ignored. In conclusion, security

cameras

should be mandatory in public

places

Furthermore

, confidentiality should be taken into consideration, ensuring no leakage of private data. I completely agree with the statement that the advantages are much higher than the disadvantages.

Submitted by dkaur on Wed Sep 11 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear position and provides relevant examples, which is good. However, more specific details and examples could strengthen your argument further.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point and that your ideas are logically developed.

task achievement

Consider expanding on the drawbacks in more detail to provide a more balanced view before concluding why the benefits outweigh them.

coherence cohesion

While you have a logical structure, revising the introduction to clearly state the opposing views before presenting your thesis might improve the coherence.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which give a good structure to your writing.

task achievement

You used relevant examples such as the provincial police report to support your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Surveillance cameras
Public safety
Deterrent
Evidence collection
Apprehend perpetrators
Public spaces
Invasion of privacy
Civil liberties
Abuse of power
Misuse
Cost implications
Monitoring
Maintenance
Essential services
Justice system

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In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks.

Fully explain your ideas

Social networking sites are beneficial on an individual level, but for a community as a whole, it does have a negative impact. Give your opinion.

Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You recently missed a flight. You think this was the airline’s fault. Write a letter to the airline. In your letter, •explain why u believe airline is at fault •describe the impact it had on your journey. •say what you want the airline to do

Doctors recommend that older people should excersice regularly.However many of them do not exercise enough. What are the causes? What can be done to encourage them to exercise?

Cyber insecurity is a rising problem in many countries. What problems does a lack of cyber security cause to Internet users? What solutions can you suggest to solve it?