Many criminals commit crimes again after being released from prison. Why do you think this happens? How can we reduce this problem?

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These days, offenders repeat their criminal activities after they have been discharged. I believe
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is because of easy punishment, and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can be mitigated by giving financial penalties. Nowadays, the number of criminals on
roads
Correct article usage
the roads

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is

It seems that the verb are does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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raising
Correct your spelling
rising

The word raising doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, showing prison life often
fail
Correct subject-verb agreement
fails

It seems that the verb fail does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to illustrate its effect positively. Even though the government establishes a law against lawbreakers with harsh punishment,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as imprisoning and employing somewhere, those who experience it continue to break the law and disturb society. Those punishments are easy and can't change their
behavior
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behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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at all, as the government does not involve them
for
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a harsh judgment.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, criminal activities may continue to arise and influence the peace of the public.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, by establishing some long prison life and financial requirements, the government can benefit from prisoners and decrease the number of offenders substantially. Since people are often scared of being imprisoned for a long time and avoid engaging in those activities repeated before. Financial penalties
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

might solve the problem with ease. Because most of them often struggle to make money for
living
Correct article usage
a living

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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, and others do it for the purpose of being rich, realizing potential failure, and staying away from the aforementioned sentence.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the establishment of these serious decisions may lead to a peaceful environment among people. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

current punishments often seem valid and right, being unable to mitigate problems in society can be its main weakness; long imprisoning and fiscal benefits from sentencers may restrict people from committing crimes over and over again.

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task achievement
Try to clearly define the main reasons for recidivism and link them directly to the proposed solutions. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Transitional phrases can help the reader follow your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
You've demonstrated a reasonable understanding of the issue of recidivism and its potential solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which is essential for coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Reintegrate
  • Social stigma
  • Recidivism
  • Criminal records
  • Ex-offender
  • Associations
  • Comprehensive
  • Workforce
  • Mentoring
  • Incentivize
  • Stigmatize
  • Subsidies
  • Legitimate
What to do next:
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