Many criminals commit crimes again after being released from prison. Why do you think this happens? How can we reduce this problem?

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These days, offenders repeat their criminal activities after they have been discharged. I believe
this
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is because of easy punishment, and
this
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can be mitigated by giving financial penalties. Nowadays, the number of criminals on
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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, showing prison life often
fail
Correct subject-verb agreement
fails
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to illustrate its effect positively. Even though the government establishes a law against lawbreakers with harsh punishment,
such
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as imprisoning and employing somewhere, those who experience it continue to break the law and disturb society. Those punishments are easy and can't change their
behavior
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behaviour
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at all, as the government does not involve them
for
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in
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a harsh judgment.
As a result
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, criminal activities may continue to arise and influence the peace of the public.
However
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, by establishing some long prison life and financial requirements, the government can benefit from prisoners and decrease the number of offenders substantially. Since people are often scared of being imprisoned for a long time and avoid engaging in those activities repeated before. Financial penalties
also
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might solve the problem with ease. Because most of them often struggle to make money for
living
Correct article usage
a living
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, and others do it for the purpose of being rich, realizing potential failure, and staying away from the aforementioned sentence.
Therefore
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, the establishment of these serious decisions may lead to a peaceful environment among people. In conclusion,
while
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current punishments often seem valid and right, being unable to mitigate problems in society can be its main weakness; long imprisoning and fiscal benefits from sentencers may restrict people from committing crimes over and over again.

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task achievement
Try to clearly define the main reasons for recidivism and link them directly to the proposed solutions. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Transitional phrases can help the reader follow your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
You've demonstrated a reasonable understanding of the issue of recidivism and its potential solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which is essential for coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Reintegrate
  • Social stigma
  • Recidivism
  • Criminal records
  • Ex-offender
  • Associations
  • Comprehensive
  • Workforce
  • Mentoring
  • Incentivize
  • Stigmatize
  • Subsidies
  • Legitimate
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