IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The use of government money to enhance the
railway
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system
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 is preferable to utilizing it to strengthen the road
transport
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system
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.
While
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 I completely agree with the view that the administration ought to focus on railways, I
also
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 believe that even roads should be widened and monitored regularly for any potholes, which help people to have a pleasant travel experience on a day-to-day basis.
To begin
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 with, there are several benefits of having an efficient
railway
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system
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 in place to cope with the growing population. In fact, the
railway
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transport
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system
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 is indeed flexible and convenient for long travel because all basic facilities are addressed and taken care of efficiently in railways. A prime example is the provision of washroom facilities, sleeper coaches and the option of selecting food from a variety of different caterers makes the rail journey all the more comfortable.
Nevertheless
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, there is a need for the government to prioritize even the road
transport
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system
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 which is the most opted form of transportation by the people daily. It is undeniable that the majority of individuals own a car and look forward to luxury and convenience
while
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 commuting to the office,
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thus
Correct your spelling
they
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 prefer to use their vehicle rather than singing in for railways.
Therefore
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, the condition of the roads should be monitored at regular intervals and proper actions should be taken to repair any damage on the roads. In conclusion, the government should make a judgmental decision in spending money and give equal importance to both
railway
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 and road transportation which are the essential forms of
transport
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 systems. Having a good transportation
system
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 in place is a preferred choice of almost every individual, which should be addressed by the administration.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on the benefits of railways compared to roads in more depth to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear connection between your ideas to enhance the flow of the essay. Some transitions may improve overall coherence.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your argument well.
support
You provide relevant examples to support your idea about railways being more comfortable for travelers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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