IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Train systems are now getting more and more popular,
thus
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 certain
people
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 think that governments should invest money in building new railways, rather than
roads
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. The need to build railways is undeniable,
nevertheless
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, I do not fully agree with
this
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 statement, and think that
roads
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also
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need
Verb problem
apply
show examples
need to be encouraged by governmental influence. First things
first,
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the benefits of train systems are clear and undeniable.
For instance
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, train systems are very convenient in the case of long-lasting journeys from
city
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 to
city
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, and require less fuel to travel,
hence
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 are more eco-friendly.
Moreover
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, today electro-trains can transport
people
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 even across the
city
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 fast and comfortably. These examples are already implemented in countries
such
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 as China, where the infrastructure of the country is extremely overloaded, those space-saving railways are the best choice.
On the other hand
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,
roads
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 are the most opted form of transportation by the citizens,
due to
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 the fact that
people
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 can ride their own vehicles at any time it is possible.
However
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 ,because of the issues related to traffic jams in the cities, there is not enough space every time,
while
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 the number of owners of cars only rises every day. A lot of
people
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 prefer personal transport to the public,
thus
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 they always have a higher demand, especially in big cities
such
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 as New York or Almaty. Building new
roads
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 will assist to economy time and make
people
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’s lives more convenient. In summary, I tend to think that both directions should be developed equally, to create more comfortable and efficient
city
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 conditions for society, and keep the environment cleaner and more sustainable.

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task achievement
The introduction presents a clear stance, but it could be strengthened by elaborating on the reasons for your viewpoint. Additionally, ensure your thesis statement is more direct in reflecting your main arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Aim to provide more seamless transitions between your ideas. Linking phrases or sentences can enhance the overall flow and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
While you have provided examples to support your points, including more specific statistics or further detailed case studies related to railway and road usage could improve the relevance of your examples.
task achievement
The essay effectively outlines a clear perspective and presents relevant points for both railways and roads, showing an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The use of examples from countries like China illustrates your points well and adds credibility to your argument regarding train systems.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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