Some high school students work part-time in addition to going to school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of high school students having part-time jobs? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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There is no doubt that these days
that
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apply
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work
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working
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part -
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part-time
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time
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has been playing a significant role in some high
school
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students
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. The question is, what
is
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are
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the main merits and demerits of
work
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part -
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part-time
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time
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for
school
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students
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? In
this
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essay, I am going to discuss
this
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issue.
Firstly
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, the one major
benefits
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benefit
show examples
of
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work
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working
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in
school
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students
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is a dependent on themselves
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at in
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in
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an
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early age. To explain, some poor learners should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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work
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after
school
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for
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to
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help
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helping
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their families to provide
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for essentially
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essentially
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essential
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needs.
These category
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This category
These categories
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of people gained
an
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apply
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experience
to face
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in facing
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a
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apply
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hard circumstances.
For example
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, when I was studying
at
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in
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high
school
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my friend
go
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went
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to
work
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after
school
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cause her family
pass
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passed
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in
hard
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a hard
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situation.
Thus
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,
gain
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gaining
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experience
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at in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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early age is
a
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apply
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one advantage of
work
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part -
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part-time
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time
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.
On the other hand
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, there are a number of
negative
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the negative
a negative
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of
work
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part -
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
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. To clarify, some
students
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who
work
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part -
Correct your spelling
part-time
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time
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after
school
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do not have enough
time
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to study
theirs
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their
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subject.
As a
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result
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result,
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a large number of
students
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get
a bad degrees
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a bad degree
bad degrees
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in exams.
For instance
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, my brother
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work
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works
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in
cofe
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a coffee
shop after
school
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, recently he
gat
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got
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a bad score
in
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on
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the test.
While
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,
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apply
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the student should be
studyed
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studied
studying
in
this
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level and abandoned job. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
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work
Replace the word
working
show examples
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
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time
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has both side negative and positive
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
.

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task achievement
Consider refining the introduction to clearly state both the advantages and disadvantages of high school students working part-time. This will help to frame your essay more effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to develop your main points further. Providing additional details or explanations could enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to the grammatical structures and phrasing. For example, using 'the major benefits' instead of 'the one major benefits' would be grammatically correct.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-organized with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of each paragraph.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and addresses both sides of the argument.
task achievement
You provided a personal example from your experience, which adds authenticity to your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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